


Life's a bitch

by perselusfan



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abused Rick, Alternate Universe - Soulmates Freeform, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Rick, Daddy Kink (coming soon), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Graphic Description of Rape/Non-con, He just needs to be a badass leader again, M/M, Negan's POV, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Past Rape/Non-con, Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Rick, Resistant Rick, Rick loves being bottom, Rick's POV, Rick's not having the nicknames, Rick's starting to become his old self, Rimming, Seduction, Slow Burn, Still Walkers Though, Top Negan (Walking Dead), kinky Negan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-09-25 14:30:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9824570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perselusfan/pseuds/perselusfan
Summary: Negan did not think that his life will be impacted by a weeping mess in front of his feet. But when Rick looked up, he was captured. He knew, something will go wrong, and to Rick's surprise, it did. Rick hates himself for loving. Not because he should not feel love but for the one his feelings belong to.They try to fight but in a different way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> I have never written an english fanfiction before, mainly because it is not my native language. I tried, anyways, I hope you like my take on the Negan/Rick relationship. I cannot tell you how frequently I will update it because college is a mean son of a bitch.
> 
> Please leave a kudo if you enjoyed this fic. :)
> 
> No betas were involvd in the making of this fanfiction. If you see a mistake, point it out and i'll do my best to fix it.

Negan was sitting on the edge of his bed. He was panting like he ran a fucking marathon. This was the seventh night in a row. What a big pile of motherfucking bullshit. He could not believe it happened. But unfortunately for him it did. He dreamt about Rick motherfucking Grimes. But not just like a dream, like, normal shit and rainbows and stuff but a wet dream! A fucking wet dream, for God’s sake! Like in middle school.

Negan ran his fingers through his stubby face, scratched it, not knowing what to do now. He remembered that today was the deadline. They will go to Alexandria today. Joining may not be a bad idea. Not to meet with Rick, just to check. Check that they can supply the way he wanted them to.

In the shower Negan was eyeing his throbbing cock. It stood up with all its pride, waiting for something to happen. Negan wanted to, he really wanted but after the first night he quickly realized that beating the monkey will not solve anything. If anything, it will be worse!

After he took care of it for the first time – only being able to thing of Rick, of course – it did not go limp. Negan had to walk around with a huge erection pressed between his stomach and his suddenly-too-tight jeans.

After the shower Negan got dressed, took Lucille and marched out of his room.

“Mornin’, Sir” Dwight was in his ass like always. He’s such a lil’ asslicker. Not in the good way.

“Alexandria!’ Negan’s voice echoed through the Sanctuary “That is the menu today, right, Dwighty boy?”

The trademark evil grin that spread on his face got him his desired reaction. Every-fucking-one became super careful, when they saw it.

“Yes, Sir, today we are gonna go there and take their stuff, show some examples.” The quiver in his voice was almost nonexistent but Negan could hear it. He always does.

“All righty! Let’s pack up and get our little pretty asses over there!”

No one dared to question his intentions. Negan loved it. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted and everyone accepted it. Except one person.

In the car, Negan dropped his head back against the head piece and closed his eyes. His mind immediately wandered back to his dream. The dream, which came to haunt him every single night. Rick was on his knees, on the floor first, then on the bed. He was looking at him with those beautiful baby blues, angry like always. First he said “Fuck you”, voice raspy, then everything changed.

Rick laid down on his stomach, shirt and pants removed, just a snug little brief was on him, and then he said “Fuck me.” Negan felt himself react to the invitation; he climbed to the bed, naked already and kissed him passionately. Like, fuck, he never does that! Rough? Yeah! Demanding? Fuck yeah! But passionately was not his drift. What came after both filled him with satisfaction and frustration. He fucked the living hell out of him. Which was fine, he could get away with it but the voices Rick gave out. They echoed in his ears even when he was awake. All the fucking time. Like it was a catchy song stuck in his head.

After the first night he thought it might be just a dream, nothing else, just his sick mind showing the best of it. But after the third time it was clear. He is attached to Rick. It was like love, but stronger. Bonded or what the fuck he was supposed to call it. Love was shallow, something that formed with time but this was different. He heard about it, like a lot but he thought it will never happen to him. He was so fucked up that he did not deserve to have someone. After what he did to Lucille it should not have happened at all.

The main element of this kind of connection is that their minds are connected in a way, they will only think of each other, dream about each other. And get off with each other. Negan almost punched the dashboard of the car when he thought about what happened when he tried to make love with one of his wives. When he penetrated her nothing happened. His cock stayed hard because, of course, even then he was thinking about Rick. Being in a pussy made him feel wrong, like he did not belong there. After a few thrust he pulled out and said he lost his mood. When the girl questioned him he just said “Maybe you are just not as attractive as you think you are.”

He is hoping that Rick has to go through this struggle as well. He heard that this connection can be one-sided. But if it is, he will find a way to woo him into his bed.

****

~~~•~~~

Rick was pacing in front of their house. The Saviours are coming today and they don’t have jack shit. But this was not the reason Rick was pacing. The dream he had. What kind of sick bastard was he? Dreaming about a man, who killed Glenn and Abraham.

The first time it happened, he vomited. Michonne woke him up, shaking him and asking if everything was all right. Rick jumped out of the bed, ran to the bathroom and emptied his stomach. Michonne watched him and handed him a glass of water after everything settled down.

Rick asked why she waked him up. “You said Negan’s name.” She thought Rick dreamt about that night, when Negan killed their people. But it wasn’t.

The dream was erotic. More than that! The things he said to him, while the desire attacked his body, made him turn into a needy slut. The sickest part came to him after the fifth night he dreamt this. He liked it.

Every inch of his body felt it. The need, the burn, wanting to belong to him like it was his destiny. He had no idea what was it. Ricks mind was flipping his shit but it did not matter after a while. He wanted it. Period.

This damage caused him and Michonne to separate. They still were good friends, Michonne took care of Carl and Judith like they were her owns and Rick could not have been more grateful for that gesture. But they stopped sharing a bed.

Rick heard the roaring of the trucks that pulled into Alexandria. The hair at his neck stood up. He was not waiting for him. No.

Rick, Spencer and Rosita walked over to them. A lot of people flood out of the vehicles and amongst them was Negan. His trademark grin on his face. Rick felt a lot of emotions bubble up. Anger, need, fear, aggression but the most dominant one was one that he could not get a hold on. Like a magnet Negan attracted him, his chest, the salt and pepper stubbles on his face, his eyes, all of them encouraged that part of Rick that wanted to touch him, caress him, lean into his hands and be submissive.

Rick was not going to give it to him. He took all his courage, lifted his chin and walked over to Negan. His eyes were piercing, he known but it was not the old threatening look. He lost it when they all lost Glenn and Abe. Rick was not going to threaten his people with being cocky.

Negan looked at him and he was… Impressed? For a moment he seemed like it but from one second to another his look changed like he was hiding something. Rick knew it. But he wasn’t sure if he liked it.

“Rick!” Negan’s voice hit him like a rock, made his legs shiver. “Hey, buddy, how’s it hangin’? Look at this shit!” Negan looked around Alexandria as if he was admiring something that he won. “Y’all have a niiiice lil’ home. It makes me feel like shit to tear is apart.”

His wolf like grin was just for act. Negan’s eyes were scanning Rick looking for a reaction. He was waiting for him to lash out. Rick was not gonna give him this satisfaction, though he was scared shitless about the rampage that was about to happen, he kept his cool.

“Leave the fences, will you?” Rick’s voice was steady, he was grateful for that. No need for Negan to know, he was shaking inside.

“Well look at that shit! Looks like the boss around here hopped back in the game” Negan licked his lips. Rick could not resist. His eyes fluttered down, watching the pink tongue gently wetting the soft lips. Negan seen it, nothings went unnoticed under his watch. He cracked a wide smile.

“Well, well, well” Negan whispered so just Rick heard it. Negan shifted, his leather jacket followed the muscular body that was so taunting. “Seems like you’re not sleeping too well, right?”

Rick froze. He knew. How could he? This was something Rick didn’t know. But it looks lik Negan knew everything. The worst thing is he cannot ask him because if he did, he would admit everything.

“I sleep fine.” Rick shifted so he can lift his gaze into Negan’s. Negan looked at him as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. Then he lifted Lucille. Rick took a step back and Negan started laughing.

“Shit! Calm the fuck down, Grimes. I ain’t gonna hurt anybody. Didn’t you get the memo? I am a fucking logical man.” Rick forces himself to calm down. He’s not gonna freak out over a movement. “If y’all gonna behave, Lucille will too. She can lash out sometimes, though.” 

He caressed the baseball bat as if it was his everything. Rick had no idea, why, but he felt like he was watching something extremely intimate. Negan looked back at him, smiling like a moron.

“There.” He took Lucille, stretch out his hand and… offered Rick to hold Lucille? Is this reality? Negan’s face fell. “Take it.”

Rick reached out and took the bat. Negan put back on his usual smile, like he owned the fucking planet. “It wasn’t hard, was it?” He clearly did not want Rick to answer. “Now!” he clapped his hands. “Let’s look at your stuff!”

Rick turned and started to walk towards their stock but he froze in horror, when Negan’s arm wrapped around his shoulders. Negan chuckled and pulled him along. As they walked everyone kept a decent distance from them, so they could talk without anyone hearing them.

“Now, Rick, I do not appreciate when someone lies to me.” Rick kept silent. He did not want to have this conversation but he had no choice. “You see? I am here bending backwards trying to build a great relationship.”

“Really?” Rick did not think when he opened his mouth, it just slipped. Terror instantly clawed at his stomach. Negan stopped and made Rick stop too.

“Fuck yes!” Negan tried to hit a light tone but Rick heard a slight anger in his words. He touched the fire. “I think I am being fucking generous.”

“Generous meaning what?” Rick knew it was a bad idea but he couldn’t stop himself. “Killing two of my people? Taking our shit?”

“You killed a whole pack of my people!” shouted Negan, leaning into his face. He was vibrating of anger. “You get yourself into this situation! And I… I’m just trying to get you to understand how fucking lucky you guys are that I did not kill all of you.” In the end Negan was whispering, his voice sharp like a razor, emotions all over his face.

Rick took a step back and looked down. He shouldn’t have done this. Negan’s anger is terrifying but this was not the scariest thing about this episode. It was Rick’s urge to beg him for forgiveness. Dropping to his knees, pleading until Negan patted his head and told him it was all right. His body ached to be submissive.

“I… I’m sorry. I did not mean it.” Rick’s voice shaking like hit hands. Negan’s mouth stretched into a grin.

“You’re sorry. Wow! What a big motherfucking surprise! Seems as if these words often leave your mouth, after you speak to me. Unfortunately, it gets reeeally old real quick!”

Rick snatched up his head. Negan was still smiling but his eyes glowed dangerously. “Should I show you how fucking dangerous can I be? Like good ol’ times, Rick.” Rick shaked his head. No, it can’t be. Not again. “Do I have to make another fucking example?!”

“No.” Rick’s knees were weak. “Please. Please, don’t. No, please.” Negan’s eyes beamed admiring upon Rick. Shit, it was his plan. To make Rick beg.

“This just sounds so much… How should I put it?” The grin still didn’t leave his face. “Like begging.”

Rick’s face flushed. He hated it, the shills down his spine, his mind screaming at him. What was he supposed to do with this?

****

~~~•~~~

Those baby blues gave him life. The way they measured him, trying to figure out where to step what to do. Yes, he was being careful but not like Dwight or the other fuckers. He had it in him. Aggression, anger, the urge to resist, to pick up a fight. Negan loved it. He wanted as much of it as possible.

He had no idea what will it take to make Rick submissive. But he will make him. Now Negan knows that he felt it too, the connection that ate them away. Negan could act it out, taking it with pride and openly admitting it in front of Rick. He will show no mercy on him, forcing his mind to admit it to himself. But he has to take it slow; otherwise he will scare Rick away.

“Come on, Rick, show me that stock of yours. I ain’t got all day, you see.”

Rick set his jaw, and started walking again. Negan couldn’t keep his hands on leash. It wandered away, touching Rick’s back, which tensed to the touch. Soon he will be begging for it, leaning into it. He just has to be patient.

As they approached the stock, Negan wrapped his hand around Rick. It was too mush for him, he pulled away and gave Negan a sharp look. If Rick could kill with those beautiful eyes, Negan would already be dead. 

Too much, Negan thought. What a prude motherfucker.

When Rick opened the door, the steel shelves were sparsely packed. It wasn’t enough food even for Rick’s people.

“Shit, you’re bad at scavenging.” Negan walked amongst the shelving. He took a good look at everything and picked up an instant lemonade box. “Damn, this is my favourite!” He ran his tongue along his teeth and looked at Rick, searching for reactions. And he didn’t disappoint him. His face flushed, just a smudge, lips parted and a heavy pant was heard from him. Rick wasn’t aware of his reactions. How cute.

“What about your weapons?” Rick tensed. Negan knew they were packed. Rick went through the narrow opening that was between Negan and the stands and walked back. Negan followed him, the lemonade still in hid hand.

Negan watched Rick from behind as he walked. What a true cowboy. He leaned into every step he took, which Negan was grateful for because his ass waddled mesmerizingly.

They stepped into a very tight room. A light bulb was lit in Negan’s head. He will make use of this room.

“Shiet!” There was no question; they are a shit load of weapons. He looked through them, and saw everything that he could ask for. “There’s a list for all of this?”

“Yeah.” Rick’s voice was raspy. And sexy as fuck. “The list is at Olivia.”

“Well then. I’ll get Arat to run through it all. In the mean time.” Negan took Rick’s hand, pulled him against his chest and he turned with him, so Rick was trapped between him and the wall. This idea came to him, when he saw how Rick reacted, when he was scary. Or, in other words, acted dominant. He did exactly as Negan wanted him to. Now it was the time to test his theory.

“What…?” gasped Rick but he was cut off by Negan.

“I ain’t gonna lie, Rick, your little place looks hella dope. But that food stock? Shit! It’s nothin’. And I bet my ass, you collected these weapons through out years. Conclusion?” Negan raised his brow, pretending he was waiting for Rick to answer. “No guess? Okay, I’ll tell you. Another goodness of my little, bleeding heart. You and your group are SUCK at supply runs!”

Negan’s voice echoed through the whole building, making Rick flinch. He was trying to shrink himself, shit, maybe trying to disappear from Negan. This is how he knew, his dirty plan worked.

“Now, you see, I do not like being let down. These weapons? Yeah, they are pretty rad, but after we took it, you will not be able to provide for us the same amount. So I’ll tell you, how is it gonna be.”

Rick was downright shivering. He felt on his body, the tremble of fear. Maybe something else? Oh, yeah. Negan looked in those hypnotic blue eyes and saw it. The urge, to fulfil his request. Fuck yeah.

“From now on, I’ll be staying here. Under my management, your people will learn how to make an efficient run.” Rick opened his mouth but Negan stopped them with pushing his finger against them. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won’t be teaching them. I’ll tell you my requests, locations, hell; I’ll provide you some other shit, like bandages to keep your men in good shape. But don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not giving you shit. I’m investing in your little group to make them more efficient, to get me the shit I want!”

Rick still trembled but he nodded. Good boy, thought Negan. Starting to learn, when he is allowed to speak.

“I need something else, Rick. I need you to understand our little situation. Because I’m sure, you will get some crazy thought like, I dunno, you wanna kill me.” Negan’s smile could cut a diamond. “So, to get the record straight, you need to repeat, what I’m gonna say to you now, you understand?”

Rick nodded again. What a smart little ranger. Negan removed his finger from his lips, the soft touch still lingering on Negan’s finger. He could get used to that.

“Now, repeat. I’ll provide you.” Rick swallowed and avoided Negan’s eyes. “I’ll provide you.”

Negan grabbed Rick face strong and forced him to look into his eyes. “Again.” Rick huffed, the spark, that Negan loved so much, came back into his eyes. Not resistant, just someone, who will pick up a fight against him. A challenge. He liked that.

“I’ll provide for you.” Negan grinned. “You own everything.” Rick shifted, his muscular chest pressed against Negan’s. “You own everything.”

Negan was ready to make his final move. “You. Own. Me.” Rick was panting as if he ran a marathon. Lips trembling, trying to fight with his instincts, and get his mind to separate these words from the facts, that Negan really owned him. The moment their eyes met, they both felt it, something changed within them. A connection formed, that was unbreakable. From that moment, Negan owned his body, his mind and his soul.

“You. Own. Me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like where this is going. A few additional tags are added to the story (already added or being added, depending when you're reading this chapter). Leave a kudo or a comment if you like the story ^^. See y'all later.

Rick felt weak. He couldn’t believe he said those words. He let Negan got under his skin. After they walked out of the stock room, Rick had to catch his breath. Negan just watched him, grinning like a child on Christmas day. Rick just understood what he said. Negan was going to stay at Alexandris, God knows how long. He had to get himself straight. Allowing Negan to see his weaknesses was not an option.

“So,” started Negan, admiring the lawns “where is your house, hotshot?”

“No.” groaned Rick. He was not going to let him stay at the house, Carl and Judith slept at. Even if he had to watch another person being beaten to death, he’s ain’t gonna allow that. Negan lifted a brow. “’Scuse me? Did you hear me fucking stutter?”

Rick had no idea what to do. Somehow he has to keep Negan away from his family. Struggling to find words that express his concerns in an elegant way, Negan took pity on him.

“Hey, Rick, let’s not make this hard for us, okay? I’ll be staying here for a while. And I don’t need your people breathing down my neck every goddamn second. Even though I’m the boss, I’ll give you some adjustment period. Sounds peachy?”

Rick nodded, surprised at how reasonable can this mentally unstable man. No, he was not reasonable. He just came in, taking their weapons and terrorizing his people. Rick has to cut this shit out of his life. Seeing clearly the man who stood in front of him is top priority.

“From now on, you tell ne if I stepped over your line, ‘kay?” Rick nodded again. “I guess, for whatever reason, you don’t want me in your house.”

“I don’t.” Rick looked Negan in the eyes. “I feel like we need do involve a safe word in our pretty relationship, don’t you think?” Negan’s grin widened, eyes fixed on him like a preditor eyeing his prey.

“A safe word?”

“Yeah. Fuck, Rick, I thought you had sex before!” Rick’s cheeks flushed, even mentioning sex had an effect to him. Usually this doesn’t happen, he was a grown ass man but from Negan’s mouth it sounded like the dirtiest thing in the whole world.

“I clearly had” howled Rick, running his fingers through his damp hair, still avoiding Negan’s look. He has two children, though Negan only knew about one of them and he would like to keep is this way.

“Seems like, you only had the boring kind.” Negan’s words were dripping from lust. There was no denial from his part; just how much how would like to climb onto Rick. “Now, may we get back to the original topic? A safe word may be used if I step over the line.” Negan slowly walked in front of Rick, his bat, Lucille was back in his hands and with every step she swung a little. “Not too often, though. I will catch that, Rick. Believe me, I will. But, for your comfort I’ll allow it. Generous once again.”

Rick was speechless. What other things Negan wanted to do to him that will require him to stop him? Of course, the possibilities were endless but his mind could only picture his dream, where Rick was kneeling and he was asking to get fucked. That will not happen.

“All right” agreed Rick. “Your safe word is gonna be please.”

“I thought I’ll get to choose my own word.”

“Usually, yeah.” Negan lifted Lucille and rested the bat on his shoulder. “But this is a special thing, Rick. You’re a special case. So I’ll choose the goddamn word. Problems?”

Rick stayed silent, not wanting any more trouble. “Peachy!” Negan smiled and walked back to his people. He went to talk a girl, who was probably Arat. Great, they will still take the guns.

Rick’s people looked at him. He had no idea how to crack it for them but he had to. He gestured to stand in a circle around him. “Something changed. Negan looked at our supplies and thought we… we do not reach his standards.” Rosita mumbled something under her breath, Michonne stiffened and Carl looked at Rick shocked. “I know it is not something that any of us wants. But we have to deal with it like we dealt with everything. The bright side is that he will not be the one that’s gonna deal with this shit.”

“The bright side?!” asked Carl furiously. “Dad, is there really a bright side? Or you are just too caught up in his shit?!”

“Language!” scolded Rick, reaching for his dad voice. He did not want to use it in front of everyone but Carl had to be put to his place before he does anything.

“Rick, I think Carl has a point” stepped closer Michonne, calmly as if she way trying to get Rick come to his senses. “This is not normal. We cannot let him to stay here.”

Rick hung his head and scratched his face. “Try to tell him that.” With that he felt the case closed and walked away. Rick watched his feet as he paced through the empty houses. Negan will live here. Yes. Rick will convince him to stay at an empty house.

He heard steps behind him. When he turned, there was Negan smugly following him. “You can’t be surprised, can you?” The grin was still there. It’s always there.

“What do you want?” Rick heard his frustration showing in his voice. Negan ignored it and stepped in front of him.

“I just wanted to know better my new roommate.” His what? Rick shook his head.

“You will not live with me.”

“You still have no choice. But, you can ask, remember the word?” Rick grinned his teeth in frustration. He cannot give this man always what he wants. But still, family first, pride later. Rick took a deep breath.

“Don’t move in with us.” Rick took a little break as though he was preparing for the word. “Please.”

“It wasn’t hard, Ricky boy, was it? Gee, you are trying so hard to be a tough son of a bitch! But I’m sorry. I can’t allow that. I will live with you. I want to keep an eye on you.”

“What for?”

“You are the biggest, baddest dog in this town. I have to keep an eye on you so you can’t bite me in the ass. Though, I’d reeeally love to bite you in the ass.”

Rick took a step backwards. He felt is face getting hot, and his body reacted immediately to Negan’s words. He wanted all of it. His smell in his nose, leather jacket, burnt oak and Negan’s natural scent, the muscular arms to hold his hands above his head, pining him down to a bed or against a wall, he didn’t care, the other one hugging his hips as he was grinding against his thigh. These urges came so suddenly, he almost lost his balance.

“Not losing your shit about me mentioning your ass, are ya?”

****

~~~•~~~

It was a beautiful sight. Every word that felt his mouth shook Rick’s world. That kind of power is special. It was real, not just a make shift bullshit that he had over all these people. He was replaceable. That kind of power can be taken away. But this is permanent.

Negan walked over to Rick and put his hand against Rick’s face. Rick hit his hand away but Negan put it back. “I have a solution. Do you want to hear it?”

Rick forced himself to stand steady and look at Negan. Negan will not get tired of him for sure.

“How about you and I will rent one of these empty houses and move in together?”

Rick could not think of a good excuse. His head was empty. Theoretically it was a great solution but he still had to live with Negan.

“Come on, Rick, don’t be such a nag. I know you don’t want to leave your house but you don’t want me in there. Or maybe you got a girl waitin’ for ya?”

“No.” Sadness grabbed Rick’s heart as he thought about Michonne. They were perfectly good together; Rick finally found love and Michonne was just perfect. Except, she was not meant for him. Negan was. Rick was terrified what will happen, when she will find out the real reason Rick broke up with her.

Negan felt something. His chest was cold as if an icy rock was thrown against it. Like a phantom pain, lingering through his whole body. What the heck? Why was he feeling like this? Except, it was not him. It was Rick. Negan did something dickish. For whatever reason, it didn’t fill him with satisfaction; he felt bad. Like, really bad. This was something he didn’t felt in a long ass time.

“Don’t get yourself worked up. Just a joke, take it easy.”

Rick moved like a fucking cheetah. He grabbed Negan’s leather jacket, tight around his fists and crawled into his face. “Don’t you ever talk about my private life. There is a reason why it is called that. Now, I think it is time for me to get some stuff straight.” Rick breathed heavily, eyes furious, lips trembling and his voice steady and ready to cut some shit. Negan felt a tingle run up his spine. “You do not stay here because you want to. You CAN stay here because our hospitality. And if you want to keep it that way then I suggest that you stop treating me like a fucking dog that runs between your legs when you whistle.”

Negan opened his mouth but it was Rick’s turn to shut him up. “I’m not finished! Take back from your attitude. Or else you will be a dead man. My people? They might suck at scavenging but if they have to kill, they do not miss.” Rick let him go and stepped back. “You might own us but you’ll never break us.” With that Rick stormed away, scratching his beard, looking angry as fuck.

Negan grinned. He loved when Rick lashed out, it made him feel alive. But the thought of Rick coming back to him was even sweeter. Once he realises what he had done, he’ll be scared shitless, a quivering mess that’ll crawl back in front on him apologising rapidly. Negan could not wait for that moment.

Negan went back to his people, telling them about his great plan. They didn’t day nothin’, not daring to question him or his actions. After they packed up everything, he exchanged a few words with Arat and Simon, telling them what to do until he’s gone. Daily reports will be obligatory, of course. Negan hated not knowing shit.

After that he turned to the Alexandrians.

“G’day! I’m Negan, the person, who will…”

“We need Daryl.” Negan was cut short by a black, motherfucking gorgeous woman. She had some serious balls.

“What cha’ sayin’, honey boo?” His nicknames were intentional. A strong woman like her will go mad hearing pet names like this.

“I said we need Daryl.” Negan was about to shut her down, when everyone started joining to her. Like a wild pack, almost chanting their demands. This is not good, thought Negan.

“Stop!” Rick’s voice cut through his men’s like a rocket launcher through silence. “I think you heard our little… concern.”

Rick felt his game. He came back at the right time, when he sensed, Negan can’t to anything with a situation like this. Smart move, Grimes, smart. “I heard your… demand! Did not sound like a well formed concern. Would ya enlighten me… officer?” Negan put the pieces back a long time ago, when he saw the kid in a cowboy hat.

This move caught Rick off guard. See, Grimes, I can be surprising too. “Well?”

“Yeah… erm… you see, Daryl was one of our best people.” Rick thickly swallowed as if it was hard for him to talk about this. “Our other ones were… Glenn and Abe.” A shiver ran across the whole group. “Also, he was the best at scavenging. Without him, we have to teach someone first, who’ll be able to educate others.”

Negan considered this offer. He could do this little favour for them, so that Rick will owe him bid deal. “Maybe I could do that” said Negan slowly, taking his time to form his words. “But there’s nothin’ in it for me.”

Rick shifted, keeping his gaze at Negan. He knew Negan took back the ball. Not wanting to anger him, he started thinking instead of arguing. He will offer something.

“How ‘bout we have a little chat? Work out the details next to a cold glass of lemonade.”

Rick looked back at his people. They were in shock from the fact that Negan was willing to talk about this rationally. Bunch of fucking losers. They would be long gone if it had not been for Rick. Trying to prove that he was not as bad as he thought took a lot of effort. The strange thing, he didn’t do this because he wanted to get in his pants. Somehow, along the road, he started caring about, what the man thinks of him.

“All right” mumbled Rick, looking back at Negan. “If you promise, it’ll be fair an’ you don’t try your lil’ mind games on me.”

“Would I ever do that, Rick?” His wolf like grin didn’t get the appreciation it deserved. Rick rolled his eyes and started walking towards one of the empty houses. Negan couldn’t help but imagining Rick doing that in the bedroom, rolling his eyes to Negan, and he would pull him on the bed and spank him until he apologises. After that he would admit that he was wrong, he deserved the punishment and he would say: ‘Could you please punish me more, Daddy?’

Negan’s dick jumped in excitement. But it was still a long road until that point.

****

~~~•~~~

Rick’s skin was tingling. He knew that somehow, all that shit he done will come back at him, biting him in the ass. Until that, he allowed to enjoy this rare moment. He kept Negan away from his family. His group forced this meeting out about Daryl. Small victories that were needed a lot.

They walked into one of the house and Rick sat down by the table. Negan sat next to him, putting his feet up on a chair, crossing them.

“I’m willing to give back the redneck.”

Rick’s head jolted up, happiness bubbling up in his chest. He didn’t think the man would state it clear. It will have the price but Rick was ready to pay him anything just to get Daryl back.

“What’s the price?” Negan took his time, looked around the room, scratched his beard, pretending that he’s thinking deeply then his eyes widened, his mouth fell open and he hold up a finger as if he just had an amazing idea.

“How ‘bout you will sleep in a bed with me?”

Rick looked at Negan surprised. “Just this?” He instantly regrets saying that.

Negan is still eyeing Rick like he was his prey. “Thought you might get cold feet once we hit the hay. It’s easy to throw me the fuck out of the bed but like this, you’ll have to lie next to me.”

If they were going to be sleeping together then they’ll touch. Rick tensed at the thought of that. He had no problems with briefly touching people but only the ones he’d trusted. Hugging Daryl, patting Aaron in the back but this is so much different. Lying next to a man who’ll probably try to make a move, upset his stomach. The last time something like that happened was horrible. And against his will.

He had no idea feeling something towards another man. Until everything was agreed upon, he was fine. But when he clearly objected against anything with that person and he still went at it… Rick forced back a gag. Negan can’t know about this or else he’ll take advantage from it.

“Okay. Just sleepin’ at the same bed, nothing else.”

“Details will be clarified later. Now, you want Daryl back or nah?”

Rick grinned his teeth. He hated if something was kept from him. But he had no choice. “’kay.”

Negan smiled satisfied then stood up, picked up his walkie talkie and spoke with a guy at the Saviours. Rick stood up, walked outside and informed the others that he made an agreement with Negan and Daryl will come back.

Everyone was relieved. Rick could not bring himself to tell anyone the deal he made. It didn’t affect the others, so he wasn’t obligated to tell them.

Despite his efforts, Carl saw that something bothered him. He took Rick’s arc, pulled him further and asked him. “What happened?” Rick petted his chin, lightly pulling his growing beard. Maybe he should shave.

“I have to keep him away from you two.” Carl huffed as a sign that he wanted to object but he remembered Judith. He hung down his head, understanding but still pissed.

“You could just banish him to the end of Alexandria.”

“I’ll do that but I have to go with him.”

“Why?”

“’Cause he said he wants to keep an eye on me. And the more time he spends with watching and studying me, the less trouble he’ll cause in the group. Geddit?”

Carl nodded giving himself to the logic but the typical teenager angst was still visible. And it’ll not leave anytime soon.

Negan stepped outside and looked around.

“All right, little shits, you listen to me.” He kept silent for a second, enjoying the attention he drawled to himself. “Daryl’s be back tomorrow. Until then Rick and I will go into some nasty details about my expectations and your fucker’s ability to reach them.”

The silence was static, most eyes fixed on Lucille that Negan swung around as he explained everything. He was one man, a crazy one, but still, just a person. And he was intimidating a whole group. No one questioned him, lashed out at him or made a move; everything seemed to be under Negan’s control. Rick couldn’t help himself to think that it was impressive.

When the sun started to set, Rick and Negan walked far off to occupy a house. It was like the others, except it only had one bedroom and a smaller kitchen. Rick grabbed a few clothes and packed them into a bag that was now carried by Negan. He opened the door and Negan walked inside.

“Home, sweet home!”

Rick would’ve smiled if it was anyone else. Instead he ripped the bag out of Negan’s hand and walked upstairs.

“Eager to get in the bed with me?”

Rick let his mumble fly past his ear. He has to keep his cool. After he packed everything away he came down and got surprised at his reception. Negan was standing at the stove stirring something and two glasses of lemonade awaited them on the table.

“Dinner will be ready in minutes. Sit down.”

Rick didn’t sit down. He was shocked about how domestic Negan looked. He’d never imagined him like this, cooking for someone. In his mind he always pictured him with Lucille, bashing people’s head in and after fucking some girls with a cigar in his mouth and a glass of whisky in the other. This was just so… unreal.

Negan plated the food, set them down to the table and sat down. “Sit and eat. It’ll get cold.”

Rick finally sat down, took the fork and tasted his food. Surprisingly good. They silently ate and sipped their lemonades. Rick knew this calmness won’t last long and he was right.

“You know anything about this between us?”

Rick swallowed and thought. He didn’t want to admit. “About what?”

“Come on, Rick, no need to deny it. You fucking feel it too, I know.”

Rick let out a frustrated sight and rubbed his face. They will get stuck here if he doesn’t say anything. And right now he was in hell. “No. I don’t.”

“Thought so” mumbled Negan.

“How about you tell me instead of making fun of be?” snapped Rick.

“Calm own, gee. You’re like a chihuahua, snapping and barking at everything I say.”

Rick bit the inside of his mouth, not to snap at this comment. Negan saw it and a wide grin spread across his face.

“Chill, I’ll take mercy on you. So, the thing between you and me. It really doesn’t have an official name. It was discovered shortly before everything went to hell. You can call it soul mates, bonding, fucking Elvis Presley if you want. The point is, we belong together. Life is a bitch, eh?”

Rick was silent, stomaching the world. It was good that he finally found out, it was not his fault, it was genetics, and nothing went wrong inside him. It still sucked, though.

“Why do we have to fulfil this? We could just ignore it.” He looked up to Negan, who, for a second, seemed hurt but the feeling fled away from his face.

“Never heard of someone, who could resist this.”

It might have been true. The last days, Rick could only think of Negan, every waking hour and in his sleep. But could he be the exception? No, he thought. He’s never the exception.

They finished dinner and Rick occupied the bathroom. He stood under the shower, washing himself and tried not to think about that night many years ago. Even thought, it happened such a long time ago, the scar it left was still aching. Only one person knew about it, Daryl. He wanted to kick it off with Rick, but he refused him, stating, he wasn’t able to be in a relationship with a man. Not because he thought it was disgusting, no, he really cared for Daryl. It was his body. The unwanted touches still burned his skin, the bites and the firm grip that hold his hand above his head…

A stream of steaming hot water ripped is mind out of the thought.

“What the fuck?!” Rick jolted back out of the stream. He heard Negan laughing loudly.

“Sorry, man, had to take a leak.”

“Get the fuck outta here!” Rick looked out from behind the shower curtain and gave Negan a death glare but he was already gone. Not even an hour is this house and he wanted to strangle him. This was the reasonable thought, wasn’t it? Yeah. Negan killed both of his friends. But then why was he like a fucking magnet to him?

Rick got out of the shower, dried himself off and took the pyjama that hid most of his body. He put on the long pants and the t-shirt then headed to the bedroom. Negan was already on the bed, just a white t-shirt and his underwear. Negan reached out towards Rick.

“The bed just needed you.”

Rick pulled away from his hand. Negan furrowed his eyebrows.

“You were okay with me pushing you against the wall but you turn into a pussy when I want you to take my hand. You are a confusing one.”

Rick swallowed; avoiding Negan’s gaze and went around sitting down on the edge of the bed. Negan was looking at him, trying to figure out what was the problem.

“May I take a guess?” Rick sighted then nodded. “’kay. I think you want to see me as the big bad guy. Now, that picture into fucking million pieces the moment you show affection. Also, if I do anything that doesn’t have to do with aggression or murder, I’ll confuse your pretty little head. Am I right?”

He actually was. Rick didn’t want to change his ugly picture about Negan. And is he takes his hand, it will change. His mind shouted at him to run but his heart wanted to touch him and curl up to him.

The silence became heavy between them. Rick was surprised how patient Negan was. The silence became too long and Rick couldn’t take it anymore. He let his instincts take over, grabbed Negan’s hand and laid next to him. Negan’s arm instantly hugged him and drew him closer.

“Isn’t it nice?” Negan asked but his voice lacked of the usual edge. It was just a simple question; he didn’t intend it to be more.

Rick shifted leaning his back against Negan’s chest. He was comfortable. Rick yawned and started to close his eyes. His mind already started drifting into nothingness when he felt lips on the back of his neck. His eyes sprung open and he jolted out of the bed. Negan looked at him shocked, not knowing what and why he did wrong.

Rick panted. He didn’t agree to that. Hugging way okay but this was just too much for him to handle in one day.

“Get out” he managed to mumble between pants. An invisible hand choked his throat.

“Rick. What’s wrong?” Negan tried to get closed to him but Rick looked at him with furious eyes, not like today but like he would really be able to kill him.

“GET THE FUCK OUT!”

He shouted to loud that his face went red. Negan stood up and walked out silently. Rick buried his face into his hands and fell down to the ground. Why does he have to be so fucked up?


	3. Chapter 3

_Rick went out with Shane to check a suspicious noise. They moved silently. Both of them armed. They didn’t talk much, why would they? He and Shane just had a pretty big fight over Lori. Rick knew that they lay together but couldn’t bring himself to hate them. Lori thought he died and Shane thought that too. It was natural since Shane was a part of their lives, saw Carl grow up and he was really close friends with Lori. It should be this way if he died._

_At least, this is what he told himself. He was angry, of course, but he shouldn’t be._

_These thoughts were running through his head when he suddenly felt something hard on the back of his head. Rick was hit and he lost his balance immediately. He fell down, hissing and cupping the back of his head. When he looked up, he saw Shane angrily panting as he looked down on him._

_”Why did you come back? It shouldn’t have happened like this. I was supposed to… I was…_

_Shane rubbed his head, trying to gather his thoughts. Rick tried to get back up but his head was throbbing. When Shane saw this, he pushed him back down and knelt on his back._

_”Mrrrgh.” A jolt of pain ran across his back. “See, Rick, Lori was nice an’ all. She would have had a strong man taking care of her. Instead we’re in this shitty situation. Because of you. And you know what? I’ve never wanted Lori. But since she’s your wife this was the closest I was able to get to you.” When Rick heard the zipping noise, he stopped struggling and froze. No, Shane and him were friends. He wouldn’t. He would never._

_He felt two strong hands pull his pants down. Ignoring the excruciating pain he fought with all his strength but Shane has always been bulkier, stronger than him. Shane grabbed his hands, pinned them to the ground and stopped his struggle with his body._

_”Now, Rick, I’ll show you what you missed out on.” He breathed on this neck, nibbling on it and with brute force, he entered into Rick’s unwilling body._

Negan walked out of the room. He headed down, wetted a towel and went back to the room. Rick was sitting down on the floor balling the fuck out. He tried to keep back the sobs and the cries but he couldn’t. Negan knelt down next to him and Rick looked up terrified.

“Shh” Negan suited him, assuring that he was not angry about his breakdown. How could he? Seeing someone like this used to fill him with satisfaction. But not anymore. He didn’t want to see Rick like this.

Negan pressed the towel rick Rick’s neck, trying to cool him down. It seemed to work, except he was still breathing heavily. “You wanna tell me about it?” Rick huffed and turned his head. Negan took his head gently in his hands and turned it back. “Rick. I know, I’m not good at this. But I’m also not a fucking mind reader. So, how about you lighten me the fuck up?”

Rick looked at him, his eyes in agony and his body tense as if he was ready to run at any second. “Rick?” Negan hit a calm but strong voice. His a minute they stared at each other but after that Rick’s shoulders sank and his body deflated. “I just… I can’t.” Rick buried his face into his palms.

Negan patted his head, thinking how he could get this broken man to share his feelings. He was never good at it, never really cared to be honest. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Rick’s voice was unsure, almost begging. 

“Yeah, sure.” Negan sat next to Rick to make him feel, they’re equal now. 

“Why didn’t I freak out in the stockroom?” This question surprised Negan.

“I thought you’ll answer for this, hotshot.”

Rick grinned hearing this nickname. “I don’t like it. Don’t use it.”

“I think it suits you pretty fucking perfect.” Negan smiled and when he saw Rick’s signature ‘Fuck off’ glare, his smile widened. “But okay, I’ll try to come up with something else.”

Rick sighed and rested his head against the wall, still panting heavily. Negan didn’t like this state; every inch in his body wanted him to stop.

“Rick.” There must have been something in his voice that made Rick look at him immediately. “Stop this. Breathe slowly.” And Rick obeyed. He breathed in and out slowly until he could breathe normally. Well shit. He heard something about dominant and submissive whit being involved in this connection but he never actually believed it.

“What’s happening?” Rick asked. Negan shook his head. He was still figuring out too.

“Do you have a book on this kinda stuff? Soul makes and shit?”

Rick shrugged. “Take a look. I need to sit around for a while.”

Negan stood up, stomped down and searched through the books. All classics; the shitty kinds. Man, this place sucks. Then he found a little handbook on the topic. He took it, sat down into an armchair and started reading it.

Yeah, he was right. When two people share this connection, there are roles that form. One becomes more sensitive to the other’s voice, demands, usually the one that is more broken. Rick is more broken that Negan? Shit, then he must be in a very shitty state. Negan wasn’t good either, after all hell broke loose. He lost himself in the agony and still didn’t heal from that. But according to this Rick was in much bigger pain than he thought.

They also shared this power. Rick wasn’t able to resist anything that Negan ordered him but if he thought Negan went over the line, he could use his power to plead and make his partner step back from his power, setting free his mind. That explained a lot. Like, why he liked when Rick was begging. This was his way giving him this power, the bond made him do it. This was necessary, according to the book, so that the relationship wouldn’t become violent.

Negan put down the book and sighed. He grabbed a bottle of water and went up to Rick, who was back in the bed. He was laying down, looking at the ceiling. Negan coughed. “I thought you might be thirsty.”

Rick looked at him with those beautiful baby blue eyes. They are mesmerising. “Yeah.” He reached towards Negan. Negan tried to calm himself, no; he’s not reaching for you, just for the bottle. He put it into Rick’s hand and sat nest to him. Rick drank then wiped his mouth. “Thank you.”

“No problem, bubble butt.”

The glare was so deathly, that Negan laughed out loud. “Not?”

“Hell no!” Rick stretched and looked back up the ceiling. “What is happening with us? I mean… Our thoughts, the interactions… I’m supposed to hate you and I do just not as much as I’d like to.”

Ouch. That was really painful like hot water on a third degree burn.

“I’m not fond of you either. Or you forgot the fact that you slaughtered my men?”

Rick face twitched as thought Negan slapped him. He felt guilt inside him but Rick hurt him too. He started to get soppy. No, this relationship was not about that. He owned Rick. It’s time to act like a fucking owner.

“I gave you enough time to calm down. Time to speak.”

Rick looked at him; contemplating about what should he say.

“If you lie, I’ll know. And that’ll piss me off. You’ve seen me pissed off.” The threat was just lingering under his words. Rick sighed, put his hand in front of his mouth and stared at the wall.

“He… he… erm…”

It was really bad; Negan thought and felt a pain in his chest. Not Rick’s, it was his own pain. It hurt to make Rick relive whatever happened. Negan didn’t want to push Rick, so he waited silently.

“I had… a…” Rick scratched his face, eyes lingered as if they were looking at his past. “I was raped.”

Negan tensed. He always hated that kind of violence. It didn’t matter if it was a man or a woman; no one deserved that kind of treatment. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Rick opened his mouth, thought for a minute then closed it. Clearly he didn’t want Negan to know. Maybe he thought they can avoid this whole situation. “Rick, damn it! You should’ve told me! I told you I’m not a fucking mind reader.” Negan brushed through his fair, fisted it annoyed at his own powerlessness. He couldn’t protect Rick from what happened in his past. “If we are gonna do this, I have to know this kinda shit. Understood?”

Rick nodded submissively. “Yes.” His voice was bare, raspy, his breathing started to speed up but Negan cupped Rick’s hand and it slowed immediately. Strange. “Now, may I ask to sleep alone?” Negan thought about it for a while and he figured, if he’s gonna give Rick space now then he’ll be kept distant forever.

“No.” The sound Rick gave was in between a yelp and a whine. “I ain’t no monster. But you promised and it has to be kept. I won’t do nothin’ without asking. Or you can ask too.”

Rick bit his lower lip hard and when he released Negan saw teeth marks on it. He wanted to brush them with his fingers so bad. “’kay.” Negan stood up and reached for Rick. Rick eyed him for a second but then he took his hand. It was a definite improvement. He yanked Rick up and when Rick stood he stepped a bit closer to him. His smell was wonderful. Smokey, bitter and sweet at the same time and his natural scent which cannot be described.

Negan wrapped his hand around Rick’s waist, not too strong and Rick looked at him puzzled. “May I kiss you?” Rick lowered his gaze to Negan’s lips and his almost unnoticeable nod filled him with such happiness, he never felt before.

Negan wrapped his hand gently around Rick’s neck, leaned in and brushed their lips together to give Rick chance to pull back. Much to his surprise, Rick leaned into his embrace and kissed him. Negan kissed Rick softly as if he held the most precious thing between his hands. Rick was a lot more aggressive, licking Negan’s lips, forcing them open and penetrating his mouth. Negan moaned in surprise but didn’t obey. Their lips tangled into each other, first battling but then they danced like swans.

Rick hugged Negan, put his hand to the back of his hips and pulled Negan closer. Their bodies pushed together and fit perfectly. Negan felt Rick’s hand adventure on his body. They stroked his back going up to his shoulders then down to his biceps. He felt Rick gaps a little bit when he felt how big his muscles were. But he knew it wasn’t Rick. It was the connection. He had to break this before he regrets anything.

Negan grabbed Rick’s wrists, pulling them behind his back and pulled away from his mouth. Rick panted and looked up to him puzzled. He was right, that cloudy gaze proved it was the connection.

Rick shook his head to clear it and looked back at Negan.

“I have to admit, you kiss really good.” Negan felt a grim creep up to his face. “Didn’t expect that.”

Rick grimaced and stepped back. Negan already missed him.

“Let’s sleep. I need my beauty sleep.”

They walked up and laid in the bed. Rick faced away from him. Negan scooted up behind him and wrapped his hand around Rick’s waist. Their bodies didn’t press against each other. They were just comfortably laying in each other’s presence.

Rick slipped into sleep pretty quickly. Negan watched him as his chest raised and dropped periodically. A lot happened to think about. He didn’t plan on forcing himself on Rick, he’d never do that, but he has to be more careful not to break him. There was a very serious problem, or two in the form of blue balls.

****

~~~•~~~

While waking up, Rick smelled the most attractive scent he’d ever encountered. Smoke of the cigar, musk and something natural that was irresistible. He turned towards the source of the smell and buried his face in a strong, muscular chest. He froze. Rick smelled Negan. Negan was irresistible for him.

Rick jerked his head up to see that Negan’s still sleeping. He laid back down and closed his eyes to think through last night. He comforted him. Like took care of him and shit. He didn’t expect that, just jokes, mean comments or that he would tell him to stop being a sissy and suck it up. It happens. But he was nothing but support, kindness and understood he needs to know everything that is about to happen.

Negan breathed in deeply and stretched. He wrapped his hand around Rick, hugged him closer and Rick tried to shoo away the warmness that crawled into his chest.

“Mornin’, sunshine.”

“Yeah.” Rick stood up, took his clothes and walked to the bathroom to change. When he came out Negan was gone. Rick walked down and found him in the hall in his leather jacket, Lucille against his shoulder and his eyes were wandering through the kitchen. He might have been a good cook. Back when everything was not shit.

“You waitin’ for me?”

Negan looked up to Rick, his eyes beaming sharply, the cocky smile back on his face. This was his mask, Rick realised, the dangerous, hot headed mask that made everyone shit their pants. Rick wondered if it was really a mask or it was still Negan, just in survival mode.

“You want that, don’t cha? I thought you might wanna welcome back Daryl with me at the gates.”

Oh yeah, they’ll bring back Daryl.

“You won’t be up all over him once he gets here, right? I mean he’s off the hook.”

Negan licked his lips and Rick wished he could bite them. Those lips that last night kissed him and he lost it. Rick didn’t know what hit him but something inside him was craving so much of Negan. He couldn’t let that side of him break free.

“Well, he did lash out when we were there. And I was clear about that. He broke the rules.”

“But Glenn…”

Rick’s voice broke and turned his head. He still got upset when talking about them. The guilt was unbearable.

“I’ll see what the fuck I can do.”

Negan eyed him for a little while then stepped out. Rick stepped out after him and to his surprise Michonne was standing in front of the house.

“Michonne?”

The woman scanned him from head to toe, to make sure he was all right. Rick got a little upset. She thought he can’t look after himself. He was broken, that was clear but he still was capable of taking care of himself.

“Hey, Rick. Did you sleep okay?”

Rick nodded, trying not to think about what the question really meant.

“He slept peachy! Just so motherfucking great, he didn’t even felt himself turning and tossing all night long, did you sunshine?”

Rick glimpsed at Negan, realizing he was back in the game.

“If you didn’t want to feel it, you should’ve slept.”

“Well, shit, next time I’ll try that. But I just couldn’t get enough of you delicious bubble butt. Man, when you push that fine piece of ass up, that’s a real tease.”

Negan walked away not caring about Rick’s glowing red face. Michonne sent after Negan a few death glares then patted Rick’s shoulder.

“Come on, Daryl will be here in any minute.”

They walked over to the gate where everyone lined up. Negan was walking up and down in front of the gate like a fucking guard dog.

“I like this place. The walls are sturdy, well kept, but on the inside the houses are cosy as fuck.”

“All thanks to Reg.”

Rick felt his group’s eyes on him. They didn’t want him to tell this but it didn’t matter, Reg was already gone and Negan had no advantage with this knowledge.

“Then lemme meet him! I wanna thank the fuck out of his face to make this shit.”

“He’s dead.”

Negan dropped his head. “Well then rest in motherfucking peace, Reg.”

“You have no right to talk about my father.”

Spencer stepped forward, not to Negan but in front of Rick. He was almost shaking with anger.

“We just mentioned him.” Rick felt the annoyance scratch his throat. Spencer was just a pain in the butt lately. He has to be shot down or else he’ll think he can get away with shit.

“I don’t care. Don’t you dare talk about my father or my mother. Their death is on you.”

Before Rick could have snapped back at him, the gates opened and a truck drove in. Dwight jumped out of it and then Daryl. He was dirty but the clothes on him were new. Jeans a little too big, a baseball tee and a baseball cap. Rick’s heart ached to see his vest on Dwight. He got so used to see that on Daryl but they had bigger problems than their clothes.

Rick walked closer to him but before he could touch him, he looked at Negan for permission. Negan was watching him closely and looked pleased when Rick waited for his approval. When he nodded, Rick jolted ahead and wrapped Daryl into a tight hug. Daryl tensed in his touch, probably because he was deprived of any human connection for so long, but after the initial shock he hugged back.

“You okay?” whispered Rick into Daryl’s ear.

“Yah” answered Daryl then he let Rick go. Daryl lifted his gaze and looked around. “Someone tell me, what’s goin’ on?”

Rick glanced at Negan, who was, much to his surprise, angry. Shit, thought Rick, he saw more into this hug then what it meant. He has to fix it.

“We… I made a deal. I’ll tell you the details later; the most important is that you’re home, brother.”

Daryl stared at him for a while, trying to figure out what was Rick’s deal about. But when everyone stayed silent, he nodded.

“Look at that shit. Brother! More like distant cousin it you ask me.” Rick heard the annoyance in Negan’s voice. He still wasn’t pleased. “Well, Rick, if you ain’t gonna tell the redneck then let me fucking do it.”

He marched over to Rick, grabbed his waist and pulled him against his body. Rick let him do it even though anxiety started wrapping around his chest.

“From now on, Rick’s my bitch.”

Rick’s arm moved on its own, hitting Negan in the jaw. When he lifted his arm for the second time, Negan was faster, grabbed his arms and wrapped them behind his back. Before the memories could kick in, Negan whispered in his ear.

“Calm down. Or do you want to show an example?”

Rick froze. He lost his head again. Rick shrugged down Negan’s hands, stepped back and walked towards one of the houses. This will not work between then if he doesn’t set the boundaries. The crazy thing is that he can do it. If he sits down with Negan and tells him that he doesn’t want to be called that, he’ll understand.

Rick still couldn’t figure out that side of him. It was like Negan had two people in him, the dominant, I’ll kill everyone who fucks with me douche bag and the rational boyfriend who liked to cook and cuddle. If it’s gonna stay like that, Rick’ll lose his mind.

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn’t hear the footsteps behind him until they got really close. Rick thought it’s Negan. He took a deep breath and picked up his courage to apologise. He has to do it to keep the man in balance.

However, when he turned, his face met with Spencer’s knuckles. His ears started to ring and lost his balance. While he tried to locate Spencer, he felt another punch on his chin. He fell down to the asphalt, seeing only black dots. Spencer sat on his chest, grabbed his shirt and roughly yanked him up.

“It’s all you fault!” He shouted in Rick’s face. “My mom! My dad! And now this motherfucker who’s destroying everyone and everything!” Between his words Spencer used Rick’s face as a punching bag. “I told everyone that you’re dangerous! No one believed me! Well guess what? Spencer was fucking RIGHT!”

Rick awaited the next punch but it didn’t come. Instead he felt Spencer’s weight being lifted off of him. Someone screamed. Rick had no idea who was that but he didn’t care. His face was throbbing, his mind wasn’t clear. He just lay there, looking up the sky, which was beautiful. Blue, infinite.

When Negan’s face blocked his view, he thought he was even more beautiful than the sky. The warmness that spread through his chest calmed his mind. Rick saw Negan’s mouth move but he didn’t hear him. He lifted his hand and gently stroked the salt and pepper stubbles. He should smile. Rick showed affection. Why doesn’t Negan appreciate this? He looks as if he is watching a horror movie.

Rick felt his body being lifted off the ground, strong arms wrapped around his torso and legs. He leaned against the strong body and finally heard Negan’s voice before blacking out.

“Someone help us!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really should've called this story: You are mine
> 
> This story still doesn't have a beta so if you see anything horrific I'll take the blame.
> 
> Also this chapter is a bit longer I hope you don't mind that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.... something smutty? Yay? XD Still more to come once my Rick will realise that Negan's not bad he's just special.

Rick felt a hand gripping his hand. It hold onto him as if he was about to fall down a cliff. He tried to move his fingers but couldn’t. He drifted back to sleep.

When his senses decided to get him back close to reality, he felt stubbles on his palm. They brushed against his hand and a hand hold his against them, caressing and gently rubbing. He could hear mumbles. Rick tried to move his fingers again, to let the man know, he’s not out of it. But he drifted back to sleep again.

Next time his hand was on the bed, a forehead pressing to his shoulder. The man’s body was shaking as if he was crying but there wasn’t any wetness. He was crying but he didn’t shed a tear. Must be because he had already shed all of them. Rick tried to take a deeper breath and succeeded. The smell that came from that man. Leather, dried blood and his natural scent that was mixed with sadness. Rick had no idea how could he smell that, but he could. It was Negan. The moment he realised this, the man’s face appeared in front of his closed eyes. Yeah, Spencer tried to beat him to death. That sneaky motherfucker. He attacked Rick from behind. He couldn’t have taken him down face to face. But Negan appeared and knocked him down. He still saw the worried look in his eyes, the way Negan looked down on him. Before he could open his mouth and say anything, he drifted back to sleep.

The next time, Rick became conscious, it was the real deal. He could instantly feel his whole body, his mind completely awake. Even if this was the case, he didn’t move. Years of living in fear trained his body and mind to first observe the situation he was in. Rick felt the sunshine on his body, warming him up. A blanked was draped around him, only up to his hips. One of his hands was held captive in a gentle touch. It was Negan. He could feel him in his touch, his thumb rubbing the back of his hand; it was something that made Rick feel safe. He opened his eyes slowly and lifted his gaze to Negan. Negan was looking at the wall, his leather jacket thrown to the back of his chair, his hand, which was not holding Rick’s, at his face scratching his stubbles. He was a big bundle of nervousness. Rick felt Negan’s fear, it polluted the room. Rick decided to break this misery and opened his mouth.

“Hey…”

Negan snapped his head to Rick. The relief that washed over him was visible.

“Mornin’, sunshine.”

His voice was rough as if he spoke for hours before Rick woke up. Rick licked his lips and they were dry.

“Thirsty?” Rick nodded. Negan slid his hand under Rick’s neck, propped him up gently and held a glass of water to his mouth. Rick was surprised, how much he doesn’t mind that. “You feelin’ okay? If you’re in pain I have to tell someone.”

“’m good. How long I’ve been sleepin’?”

“Just for a day.”

Negan sit next to Rick and fluffed up his pillows. It was ridiculous how much Rick loved this gesture.

“How do I look?”

“Your face is wrecked!”

“Really?”

“Nah, just bruised. That Spencer piece of shit wasn’t a good fighter.” Rick couldn’t help but chuckle. “But you hit your head pretty hard. You had a concussion, luckily it wasn’t serious.”

While Negan was talking, Rick’s gaze ventured on the man. Everything he was, he did make feel Rick safe. The way he sat in the edge on his bed, between Rick and the door, to protect him if anything happens. Seeing those broad shoulders and chest, knowing his strength, it helped him relax. His ego was screaming at him, he was a man; he could take care of himself. He bit out a man’s throat, for God’s sake. But it still felt good. Is that how Lori felt herself next to him? She was able to protect herself but still, she liked being close to Rick. And Rick loved that he could protect her. For the most part.

Rick shook his head to clear his thought but a sharp pain in his neck made him gasp.

“Don’t do that!” barked Negan and put his hand against Rick’s neck to massage away the pain. “You’ll give me a heart attack” he mumbled and Rick pressed his face to his forearm. Negan stiffened for the gesture. Rick didn’t know what got into him but suddenly he wanted to feel Negan, closer than ever. He couldn’t get enough of him.

Negan brushed Rick’s hair out of his forehead, leaned down and pressed a kiss onto it. “What a pleasant change.” His voice reached down into Rick, it sounded like he was pleased and Rick loved the thought that he pleased him.

Then he remembered, what Negan said before he stormed out. Rick glanced at Negan, uneasy how to bring up the topic. Then thought, fuck it, he’ll just gonna say it.

“Do you really think of me as your bitch?”

Negan sighed and gently stroked Rick’s neck. Goosebumps spread all over Rick’s body. It felt so good. “No, sweetheart, I don’t. Just said things off the top of my head. Didn’t think.”

Rick couldn’t help but to lean into Negan’s touch. His hands felt so good on him. Since when was he so hungry for his touches?

“It’s all right, sunshine. I took care of everything. You just rest.”

Rick felt a tingle in the back of his head. Negan took care of everything? That didn’t sound reassuring.

“What do you mean by that?” Rick lifted his gaze to meet Negan’s unbelievably brown eyes. They glistened, as if he was ashamed for something. But after a moment it disappeared and Negan took back his ‘everything is under control’ face.

“That Spencer kid hurt something… someone who belongs to me. He wanted to kill you. Now, you gotta understand Rick, the fact that I felt you somewhat in your position doesn’t mean that I will not handle shit. And I don’t tolerate this kind of fuckery. So I let Lucille put him into his place.”

Rick’s ears were ringing. Spencer died. Because he wasn’t careful enough. Only if he paid more attention, then this wouldn’t have happened. If he had put up a fight, Spencer would shill be alive. They could’ve arranged this between themselves, but no, Rick has to be knocked out and this gave Negan a reason and an opportunity to kill one of their men again.

“No… I…” Rick buried his face into his hands and rubbed his eyes. “Is everyone else okay?”

“Yeah and pissed the fuck up. They didn’t let me take you to our doctor.”

This is good. His group still had some kind of power and could make things go on their own way. He was grateful to them. Rick couldn’t leave Carl of Judith.

“Hey.” Negan’s voice was soft and he tried to pull Rick’s hands away from his face.

“Don’t touch me.”

He felt Negan’s hands tense up. “Wake the fuck up Rick. Do you still think that I’m the bad guy?” Rick was shocked at how hurt Negan sounded. He lifted his gaze to see a really pissed off Negan but his eyes betrayed him. Rick saw that he hurt his feelings. “I protected you. I saved you. I fucking bend over backwards to make you feel comfortable in this situation. To make everything better. What do I get for it? Don’t touch me.” He almost spit venom when he said the last sentence.

“Negan…” It felt weird, he said his name but he didn’t intend to say it so soft. “Please, I’m sorry, okay? This is… too much I just…” Rick pushed his fingers to his temples, trying to ease the sudden headache that attacked him.

Negan seemed to calm down from this. “I can’t sort out everything in my head in a minute. Do you have any idea what an emotional rollercoaster went down in my head?”

“I don’t, sunshine, ‘cause you’re quiet.”

“You talk enough for the both of us.” Negan giggled. Not chuckled; he fucking giggled. Rick couldn’t help himself, he huffed out a laugh.

“That is motherfuckin’ true.” Negan rested his elbows on the side of the bed and ran his fingers through Rick’s hair. “But you gotta understand. There has to be rules and you have to give consequences to them. Otherwise shit’s gonna get serious.”

“We have rules. And we keep them. You just happened to be bust in on your fucking steel horse and kick everything down.”

He had to let Negan know. They weren’t unorganised but this whole situation turned everything upside down.

“Why is it that with every community this change was easy? They gave in, followed our commands, provided us, and understood the situation that they got into?”

“Because we’re not you average group.”

They stared at each other. Rick knew he was bold but this was the truth. They can’t be bossed around. Maybe he could bend Rick’s will but not the group’s.

The door slammed open and the change in Negan was instant. He stood up, chest puffed up, that shit eating grin on his face and his eyes sparkled dangerously as if he was ready to do anything just to prove his dominancy.

“Dad!” Carl walked past Negan, ignoring the danger and hugged Rick.

“I’m okay.” Rick hugged him back.

“That son of a bitch wanted to take you away.”

“Language.” His concern wasn’t about how Carl talked, more like who Carl talked about like that. “He just wanted me to be okay.”

Carl looked at him as though Rick was a ghost. “Are you defending him?”

“No. I’m just assuming what went through his mind.” Carl shook his head and backed up a bit.

“Your dad is right, kid. And some respect, fuck, why are you all so ungrateful?”

Carl’s face went red. “Shut the fuck up!”

“Carl!” Rick rose up in the bed and grabbed his son’s arm to prevent him from doing anything stupid.

“Whatever” Carl shook Rick’s arm off. “I’ll leave you alone with your boyfriend, you know, the person that killed our friends.”

Carl’s words ripped into Rick’s soul. Because he really started to like Negan. Not the one that is shown to everyone but the person that takes care of him. Who is only shown to him. He wished they were two different people. He felt Negan’s hand on his shoulder.

“I need to be alone for a while.” He sounded broken. He was broken. “Please.” Negan’s body tensed but he let him go. He gave in. Rick carefully stood up and took a few test steps to see if he can go on his own. He was okay. “See you at night?”

Negan nodded. “At night.”

Rick walked out of the room. He needs someone to talk to.

After half an hour he found Daryl. He was sitting by the fence sharpening his knife. Rick sat down next to him.

“Ya okay?” Rick nodded. “Spenc had it comin’. He was ‘n unstable fucka.”

“He didn’t deserve to die.”

They sat silently, only sound was coming from Daryl still sharpening his knife. When he finished, he turned to Rick.

“Ya really together with him?” Rick nodded. “An’ that’s why you gotta talk to me.”

“How do you know that?”

“I know ya, Rick.” Daryl leaned back against the fence and put a cigarette in his mouth. “An’ I can read ya. The way you look. The way he looks. Don’t worry, tho, only I can see it.”

Rick smiled softly. Daryl knows him better that anyone else. Even better than he knows himself.

“So you know that… we…”

“Sure. Soul mates or some shit like that.”

“Yeah.” Rick rubbed his stubble; it roughly scraped against his palm. “I can’t do jack shit against it. It’s like magnets, you know? I can’t stay away from him.”

Daryl nodded and puffed his cigarette. He understood Rick, didn’t judge him just listened to him and tried to understand his situation. Suddenly Rick realized how much he missed his friend, his brother. Rick leaned against Daryl, hugged him and Daryl just smiled, took his cigarette out of his mouth and offered it to Rick. Rick out the end between his lips, puffed it and coughed. Daryl laughed lightly and out the cigarette back in his mouth.

“This is ain’t for softies.”

Rick laughed for the second time today. First at a psychopath, now at a redneck. What has his life become?

But Rick didn’t have time to think any further because a hand grabbed at his collar and yanked him up. He hissed at the sudden pain that struck in his neck but he didn’t care about it when his gaze met Negan’s angry eyes.

****

~~~•~~~

Negan saw red. He couldn’t think. When he saw Rick, his partner, pair, soul mate, whatever the fuck he was laughing and sharing something intimate with the other man he lost it. Negan didn’t say a word just dragged Rick along the road at his shirt. Others reached for any kind of weapon they found when they saw their leader being treated like this. The fact that Daryl stopped them hardly registered in his mind.

Negan stepped into their home, dragged Rick upstairs and threw him into the bed. Fuck, the look on Rick’s face. Terrified, shocked, looking for escape. Negan doesn’t want to have sex with him. He realized how it came out wrong, since he threw him on the bed, so to make him a bit calmer he took a step back and lifted his hands. That make Rick relax a little, but he wasn’t even close to calm.

“What the fuck?” Rick hissed angrily.

“I could ask the same thing.” Negan’s voice was crystal clear and sharp as a razor.

“I was having a chat with my friend.”

“Pretty close one, yeah. All I saw was you fucking rubbing against him one inch away from his motherfucking lips. What the fuckery fuck am I supposed to assume?!” Negan was shouting but he didn’t care. The thought of Rick cheating on him infuriated him. “I”ll not let that one slide! Never! Understood?”

Rick stood up, puffed his chest up and looked Negan in the eye.

“And why is that?”

Negan growled, stepped in front of Rick, his smell all around them, those beautiful baby blues clear and observing to Negan’s every action. He had Rick’s full attention and he loved it to death.

“Because you are mine, sunshine.”

He couldn’t tell who grabbed who. Their lips smacked together eating each other up, nibbling, biting, sucking, their tongues tangled together. Negan reached for Rick’s shirt, almost ripped it in half as he took it down from him. Rick started to back up towards the bad, took Negan with him and fell back onto it. Rick looked up to Negan and holy shit if it wasn’t the most fucking beautiful sight that he ever seen. His eyes sparkled, fucking sparkled, hips slightly open puffed and red from making out, his back arched as if he was letting Negan know that he wanted to be touched.

Negan didn1t need any more invitation. He kissed his neck, slightly sucking it and ever harder when Rick huffed in satisfaction. He unbuttoned Rick’s jeans and slid them down. Negan never thought that seeing a hard dick will make him squirm but it did. Knowing that Rick enjoyed his touch turned him on more than anything else.

He bowed back down to Rick’s stomach and kissed it while his hands slid under his underwear.

“Ahh, Negan.”

“Oh fucking yes.” 

Rick reached down and fisted Negan’s hair. His hips thrusted up desperately looking for friction. Negan huffed a laugh and looked up to Rick. He was looking at him, his eyes almost begging.

“Tell Daddy if you need anythin’”

The shock in Rick’s eyes worth fucking millions. He bit his plump lips. Wait, did it turn him on?

“Come on, baby boy” Negan cooed as his fingered brushed slightly on Rick’s bulge and earned a muffled moan. “You can tell Daddy anything. He won’t judge.”

“Fuck” Rick tried really hard, Negan saw, but failed miserably. His arousal was as clear as the sun. “Touch me.”

“You have to phrase it differently, sunshine.” Negan’s lips returned to nibbling the skin on Rick’s hips as he slid down his underwear. Holy shit, Rick was really fucking hard. His dick sprung up and landed on his belly, leaking with pre come.

“Touch my dick.” His fingered tightened around Negan’s hair and tried to pull him to his crotch. “Please.”

Negan chuckled. “What about Daddy giving you something better? Doin’ something that will like even better?”

Negan pushed up Rick’s legs revealing his pink hole. It was glorious, spasming as if it knew, it has to be played with. Rick squirmed and Negan looked up to him. This was a dangerous territory.

“Sunshine? Is it okay if Daddy touches you there?” Rick was breathing heavily, eyelids half closed and nodded furiously much to Negan’s surprise. “I want to hear it. Even better.” Negan’s mouthed stretched in a wolfish grin. “Beg for it.”

“Mrrgh” Rick’s annoyance could be measured. But it wasn’t measureable to his need. “P… Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please… play with me…” Just when Negan was about to comment, Rick breathed out the last word in such a voice that was sweeter than honey. “Daddy.”

Negan growled, sucked his head between Rick’s thighs and started licking his hole. Rick moaned loudly and pressed himself closer to Negan. His whole body shook as Negan licked first softly and gently then picked up a pace that was mirrored by Rick’s hips. He put his hands on Rick’s hips to press him down so he can lick him properly.

“Oh, fuck, it feels so good.”

Shit, Rick’s dirty talk was hot as fuck. Negan hummed and pushed his tongue past Rick’s tight rim. Rick moaned a few pitch higher then his voice.

“Ahh, yes.”

He lifted his legs up to his chest, almost automatically as Negan moved his tongue, swirled it, teased Rick with it too earn more of those sweet sounds.

“Mhh, Negan, please.”

Negan lifted his head, scared that Rick wanted him to stop but when he saw Rick reaching for his throbbing dick, he knew that this was not the case. He slapped his hand away and Rick growled in frustration.

“This is not my name now. What du you want, baby?”

Rick almost mewled as his relief was delayed.

“I want to come. Please, I want it so bad.”

Negan could see it. His dick was almost purple, it was so hard. Impressive amounts of pre come pooled on his stomach.

“Who should make you come?”

Rick reached out and pulled Negan on top of him. He landed on Rick with a thump and felt him grind against his bulge. Negan couldn’t stop a moan break free from his chest.

“You, Daddy, please.”

Rick buried his face in Negan’s neck and pressed against him. Negan reached down but instead of Rick’s cock, he touched his hole. Rick growled and bit down on Negan’s neck.

“Want to roughen up a bit, sunshine?”

He chuckled when Rick kicked him. But he had mercy so he slid two of his fingers in Rick. Oh my goodness, it was so tight, so warm and hugged him just perfect.

Rick whimpered and started to move his hips again. Negan moved his fingers and watched as Rick almost passed out under him as he brushed his prostate. He was so fucking gorgeous; all laid out under him, letting Negan see every inch of him. His hands gripping Negan’s shoulders, slightly shaking from the orgasm that is building up inside him.

“Faster, please.”

Negan fastened his pace, ramming his fingers mercilessly into Rick’s prostate. He felt his orgasm getting closer because Rick almost broke his fingers in half, he was so tight. Oh, fuck, it’ll be do good once he will be inside him.

Rick scratched along Negan’s arms and threw his head back jamming it into the pillow.

“Oh, fuck, Negan, yeah!” he shouted as he came in thick streaks all over his and Negan’s stomach.

Negan pulled his fingers out of Rick and braced him as he looked at his lover in that glorious after sex glow. He was stunning.

Rick looked up at him and licked his beautiful lips. “This…”

“Don’t ruin anything, sunshine. Your words could rip down the wall of china.”

Rick chuckled. “I just wanted to say that this was unexpected.” He stretched out satisfied and looked up at the ceiling. Negan tried to ignore his own raging boner. It didn’t seem right to force Rick to do anything after this. Even this was more that Negan could ever hope for.

“You felt it.” Negan slid his hands around Rick and hugged him tight. “You really belong to me. Now let me see you around that redneck once again and I’ll cut his balls off.”

Despite of Negan’s threatening voice, Rick laughed.

“What the fuck is so funny, sunshine?”

Rick sighed and rested his head against Negan’s arm. It felt oddly natural. “Just the fact that I was telling him about you sleeping in a bed with me and stuff.”

Negan grinned. “And stuff.” Rick blushed and turned his head away. Negan didn’t know what he did to deserve Rick’s trust, holding him in a bed after giving him an orgasm that he won’t forget for a fucking lifetime. But for sure it won’t last long. And Negan was right.

“Hey.” Rick shuffled in Negan’s arms and turned so he faced him.

“What, baby blue?” Rick blinked clueless and Negan shook his head.

“You really have to stop giving me nicknames and start callin’ me Rick.”

“That’s boring.” Negan brushed the locks out of Rick’s eyes. Baby blue.

“Anyway… we gotta stop this.”

“Rick, what the fuck? We didn’t even have sex, I just rimmed you and you gotta admit it; I rimmed you real good.”

Another million dollar gasp. Jesus, like they were sixteen.

“I’m talking about the whole… Daddy stuff.”

Negan laughed. “Come on, it’s fun. Besides it turns you the fuck on.”

There is was again, Rick rolling his eyes. He’s acting up and Negan did what every other dad would do with an angsty teenager. He gripped Rick’s hip, rolled him so he lay on top of him and smacked his delicious bubble butt real good.

“Nhah!” Rick moaned and looked at Negan surprised. “Okay, what the actual fuck?”

Negan laughed. “There is no way you existed with vanilla sex for this long.”

“It was satisfying.”

“I can hardly believe.”

Rick was looking at him scolding. “Stop, there is a line.”

“Don’t think so.” Negan held Rick closer but Rick twisted his hips so he would slip out of Negan’s grip. “What did I do you wrong this time, sunshine?”

“I just need a minute to process.”

Negan hated it. From the bottom of his heart. Rick will start thinking about what they have done; realize some shit and then chicken out of everything. This was not okay, they were grown ups and allowed to do whatever the fuck they wanted.

“Why would you…” Rick cut him off.

“I’ll save you some time. It’s not about what we have done. It’s about who I’ve done it with.”

Negan breathed out a little laugh, trying to mask the sadness that took over him. “Shit, you still scared of a man? Hell, if I was a woman you already would’ve fucked me stupid.”

“It’s not a question of gender.” Rick’s serious tone made Negan look at him. “It’s about me lying with the man that killed my friends in a house that is in out camp. This shit is fucked up and I’m fucked up.”

Negan acted instead of talking. He was always like that, shoot first ask later. He rolled on top of Rick and before the man could’ve fought him off he took his hands and pinned them down to the bed. The panic in Rick’s eyes started to crawl up and Negan couldn’t help but soothed him despite of the anger inside him.

“Not gonna hurt you. I’ll just make you listen and this time maybe you’ll listen too. I’m a killer. You’re a killer. Every fucking one in here is a killer. Wasn’t there a time when you had killed someone that you didn’t have to? When they were threatening just the slightest bit but you didn’t risk it?” Rick’s eyes looked down as if he was thinking. This time Negan was happy for that, this meant he finally really started to listen. “Let’s ignore the fact that I killed you friends. We just met, realized that we’re supposed to be together and I came here. Would you still be ashamed of yourself?”

The silence was choking them. Rick licked his chapped lips and flared his lashes, Negan hoped in realization. He gave Rick a few minutes to procrastinate the answer.

“Answer me Rick. I want you to answer.”

“N… No.”

“There it is. Could you do a favour for the both of us and step over this little fact?”

Rick turned his head and stayed silent. Negan sighed and got off of Rick. Freakin’ peachy, another guilt ride. Rick’ll be on it for a while but Negan didn’t want to take part in it.

“So you and the redneck never went for it?” Changing the subject seemed easier than dealing with this problem right now.

“Well…” Rick’s hesitating tone made Negan want to run out and beat in that ragged dog’s face. “No, we didn’t. Talked about it but no… never.”

“Better luck for me, eh? I hope he knows better and won’t touch what’s mine.”

Rick rolled onto his side, his back against Negan. This time Negan didn’t mind, this means he could look at Rick’s beautiful bubble butt. He could write a whole fucking prose about it. And also about his eyes. Fuck, this is some girly shit.

“I’m not yours” he mumbled under his breath as if he was about to sleep.

“Yes you are sunshine.” Negan quickly slipped out of his clothes but he left on his boxers. He didn’t want to cause Rick a fucking heart attack in the morning.

As Negan pulled the blanket on top of them Rick grunted something that could have been translated into disagreeing with Negan. Negan just giggled as he pulled Rick to his chest and hugged him. His smell was hugging Negan, holy shit he could get drunk on it. Negan was sure, Rick would deny it in the morning but now he could clearly feel that Rick lean into Negan’s touch and nestled against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what do you think of this fic, your opinion matters and it lightens my day so much when I get an email about it (for realz I sit in my classes and smile like a moron when I'm reading your comments)
> 
> Love yall!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a spoiler alert? Maybe, not much tho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this chapter took so long. School hit hard like Negan.
> 
> I'll try to update as soon as I can tho!
> 
> No beta was involved every mistake is mine.

Rick woke up with a start. One minute he was dreaming about being back home, safe and sound in his old home. Carl was sitting at the table aggressively looking at his homework. He had both of his eyes. Rick was watching him from the couch and Judith was in his hands, her little fingers were groping Rick’s face and her eyes looking at him curiously. He just smiled at her lovingly and gave kisses in her palm which made her laugh adorably.

Their old home smelled as he remembered, a light flower scent that came from Lori’s candles, freshly washed laundry and a lingering scent from last night’s dinner which was almost as if it was made in a restaurant. But after a while it started to smell different. Old worn leather and a musky smell that only could’ve came from a man. It made Rick relax more so he didn’t mind it. But then the front door opened and the floor creaked as someone stepped inside the house. It never creaked when Lori stepped in. Who could it be?

Negan walked up to him, threw his leather jacket to the back of the old couch and leaned in to give him a peck on his cheeks. His heart fluttered but not nervous as it was supposed to. Negan in his house near his children, near Judith. He was glad that it was Negan and apperantly Judith too. She smiled, reached out for Negan and giggled when he picked her up with a huge grin on his face.

At this sight, warmness flooded his chest and this is when he woke up. He wasn’t scared because he had a nightmare; Rick was scared because he liked what he had seen in his dream. Like this is what was supposed to happen.

Rick got up and rubbed his face. He doesn’t want this. This is sick. Rick put on his jacket and went outside. He couldn’t walk 5 feet before running into Michonne.

“Rick. How are you? We saw him dragging you away; Daryl didn’t let us after you.”

“I’m okay, really. It’s just Negan’s a bit... sudden.”

“We can see that. Rick, did you know that he... Spencer.”

“Yeah yeah.” Rick rubbed his eyes. He didn’t know how to plate is for the others that he was relieved. Spencer was nothing but trouble. Killing him lifted a huge burden off of his shoulders. “How would have you dealt with it?”

“I would’ve pulled him off of you. Not beating him to dead.”

Rick sighed. “After that we would’ve decided to... end him. Or chase him away which is crueler. Michonne, we wasn’t gonna get away with this.”

Michonne took a deep breath and looked away. Rick didn’t think he would ever be okay with one of his man dying. Maybe Negan really turned his mind upside down.

“Anyways” Michonne stepped up to him and looked around to make sure no one else hears them. “When he took you, he wanted to take you away. We didn’t let him. And it worked Rick, it really worked.”

Michonne grabbed his arm tightly. Rick wasn’t happy with the way this conversation is going.

“I don’t know what you are trying to do, Michonne, but I don’t think it will have a good end.”

“Rick, we ought to fight! Can’t you see? He’s alone, all by himself; the saviours couldn’t be here in time to prevent it.”

“No, this is not that easy.” Rick shook his head and stepped back. “If we kill him then what? His people will know instantly that’s for sure and they will march in here, guns head to toe and kill us all. You heard it back there. They’re Negan. Killing the actual Negan will not change this.”

Michonne looked at him as if he just admitted that Rick’s Negan too. To be honest, he didn’t know if he is or not.

“Look, Rick, I know that it ain’t gonna be easy. But thanks to you, he goes easy on us. For the most part. We got guns, he brought back Daryl and for some reason he wants to teach us how to scavenge. The man is a maniac but he let his guard down.”

“Do not think this for a minute.” Rick looked up to Michonne and the anger that rushed him hit harder than a bus. Even the thought of someone killing Negan choked him. He didn’t want that to happen, he has to prevent it. “He might seem like he’s goofy and doesn’t pay attention but he won’t let this kind of shit slide. He will notice. He will shut it down. Someone will get hurt or killed again. Michonne just stay put. You, Rosita, Eugene, everyone has to stay put.”

“At least we are trying to do something.”

Michonne’s words hurt even after she was gone. Did he just defend Negan? Over his people? He rubbed his head and walked off towards the gate. He hated the position he was in but he has to deal with it. As Rick walked towards the gate he saw that Daryl was keeping a lookout.

“Hey” he greeted the huntsman and Daryl looked down at Rick.

“Did he hurt you?”

Rick thought back what happened after Negan dragged him inside. Nothing was against his will, everything was consensual. He knew that Daryl knew and he was afraid that Rick had flashbacks at that Shane did to him. But this was not the case. It was scary how different it was and Rick could separate his trauma from whatever Negan was doing.

“No, he didn’t.”

“He better not. I’ll gut him myself if he hurts ya.”

Rick smiled at Daryl who jumped down next to him.

“You wanna talk ‘bout somethin’?”

“Is it that visible?”

“Nah, I just know ya.”

Rick hung his head and scratched his stubble. Yeah, Daryl really knew him well. There were days that he had wished he said yes to him. Being with him would be such easier but when he thought about it, being with Negan was rough, hot, dangerous and most of all, it was what he needed. If he was with Daryl it would be satisfying but not even close what he felt now.

“Ya wanna talk ‘bout your feelin’s or just in general?”

Daryl stretched as if he was sitting in one position for hours and looked ad Rick through his long hair.

“I suppose I should real talk.”

“Well I’m here to listen.”

They walked down to a burnt down building and sat down. Daryl lit a cigarette and offered Rick one too but he refused. For a while they stared at the rising sun. It was beautiful.

“I have feelings.”

Daryl huffed. “Everyone has.”

“Shut up.” Rick playfully punched Daryl’s arm who just chuckled. “I mean that for Negan. I feel as if he was who I was waiting for. I can’t bring myself to tell him. When I’m with him every inch of my body says to obey him but I don’t wanna. I disobey but when he... speaks to me a certain kind of way it all disappears. I become soft under his hands.”

“Rick, that’s the connection. There nothing’ ya can do ‘bout that.”

Rick brushed his hair back and looked up. “I just wish it wasn’t him. I mean like he wasn’t in this position.”

“Well we can’t choose someone else’s life, can we? Don’t beat ya’self up for it.”

Rick grinned. “Funny that you say this?”

“Why?”

“’Cause he captured you. Not the others.”

Rick leaned back and really thought about it. Daryl didn’t react like the others. Maybe it was because he’s been in their base. He has better knowledge at what’s going on in there.

“What was like there? Did you see anythin’?”

Daryl scratched his chin and glanced at Rick. “It was weird. I was in a lil’ cabin. Not much to see. But I spoke with one of his wives.”

Rick stiffened. “What?”

“One of his wives.”

What the fuck? Negan never told him that he was married. And he’s married to multiple women. In Rick’s head the cheating sign not only blinked, it almost exploded.

“Gotta go” he threw it to Daryl and before he could say anything Rick was already on his feet, running down the street looking for Negan.

He found him at one of the crossroads. Negan was swinging Lucille with a huge grin, enjoying that Eugene squeaked every time he moved. There was also Rosita and Aaron. When Rick got closer he heard that Negan was explaining what kind of loot is he looking for but Rick couldn’t care less. He was going to question him right on sight. Before he could speak Negan noticed him.

“Sunshine! There you are. You weren’t in bed then I woke up.”

Rick ignored the shocked gasps coming from his people and launched forward, grabbing Negan by his leather jacket and tightening it around his throat.

“What the fuck did you do?” Negan frowned.

“Well, Rick, what the fuck did I do?”

“You made me your fucking side chick, that’s what you did!”

Negan looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“You are married. And you’re cheating on them with me.”

Rick had no idea why did it anger him so much. It was a lie. Of course he knew, he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. He hasn’t even considered the possibility that Negan has someone. Not to mention he has more than one so he’s cheating on his whole harem. Not that it matters in a world like this but it still gets under Rick’s skin. No one should be cheated on.

“Yes, sunshine, I’m married. I can’t see why is it you problem. They are my wives, I do whatever I want.”

Rick felt his blood pressure rise up. “Because you shouldn’t cheat on them! Didn’t you get the memo?”

“Rick” Negan’s voice was sharp as a piece of broken glass. His face was dead serious. “This is not you job, shut up and leave this matter in peace. This is my life, my wives; I don’t want your nose all over this.”

“You should’ve thought about that in advance, like before you marched in here and claimed me.”

“If I knew you’re gonna be so butt hurt about this... nope, I would’ve still done this.”

Rick clenched his hands. “You should never disrespect someone like this.”

Negan leaned back and rested Lucille against his shoulder. Rick was supposed to be scared from him but he was past the point of fear. He saw red and knew Negan’s other side. He won’t show it in front of others but Rick knew he was getting under his skin. He saw it in Negan’s jaw which was tense and his hands fidgeting with the base of Lucille.

“I still don’t think you get it, Rick.” Negan eyes him up and down and moved closer now he’s threatening Rick. Negan moved into Rick’s personal space leaning close to his ears and whispering “I own you. You said it. That means I can do anything I want to. With my wives on the side.”

The slap that struck him caught Negan by surprise. Rick felt Rosita, Michonne and Eugene instantly jump by his side to protect him from Negan if he decided to strike him with Lucille. But Negan just blinked surprised and rubbed his face.

“Well, shit, looks like you still have some balls left. I’m not sure if I like it.”

Negan’s wolfish grin made Rick’s stomach clench. He shouldn’t have done that.

“I can see it on your face that you regretted it, sunshine. You better do that.” Negan reached out and stroked his face, his thumb gently rubbing his jaw. “You still have no idea how much you depend on me.”

With that Negan let Rick go and walked away. Rick had to take a moment to mount his legs because his head started spinning. Negan plans something but he couldn’t figure out what it that.

“You’re wrong.” Shit, he sounded like sand paper. Negan turned towards him and grinned.

“We’ll see. Now I gotta go.”

This caught Rick off guard. “What?”

“This is not the polite way to ask something Rick, you should know this. Ya momma didn’t teach ya this?” Negan’s way too heavy southern accent hurt his ear. He didn’t mention it.

“Where you go? And why?”

“I don’t have to explain myself, don’t I? This is the best part! The thing that you and all of you need to know is that I’ll come back. And by the time I get back I really hope that you can scavenge something good for me.”

Rick stiffened. When will he come back? He won’t say it. Maybe tonight, right? He said that they will sleep together from now on; he has to come back for that. For some reason, that is fairly obvious, Rick didn’t think that Negan would be fidgeting with little promises like that. Hell, he even broke the one that none of his people would get hurt. Even though he hurt Spencer because he tried to kill Rick. More like massacred him.

“And how are we supposed to do that? You haven’t gave us instructions yet.”

“I haven’t given you but I had a good little talk with that one with the haircut.”

Negan was supposed to teach them through Rick. Why did he suddenly change his mind? Or it was just to annoy Rick, changing the games and the rules. Yes, this is what was going on. Negan changed the field so Rick wouldn’t feel so confident anymore.

“I see. Then we’re good.”

“Are we, Rick, are we?”

Negan didn’t want an answer just gave something to Rick to think abour. He turned around and walked towards the gates.

“You guys know anythin’ about where he goes? And why?”

Eugene shook his head. “No but if I had to guess I’d say he’s going back to base. It is not smart to leave your territory for a longer period of time. Things might start to change up if you do that.”

Rick nodded. “Sounds right. Then he’ll be back quick.” He dropped his head and tried not to focus on the part which wanted to beg Negan to promise that he’d be back by tonight. His back itched from the thought of having to sleep alone. “Let’s get to work then.”

****

~~~•~~~

Negan loved to drive. He was sitting at the wheel of his truck. He missed his old car though. She was a lovely old timer, she even had a name. It was general as fuck but she did mean the world to him. Baby was his first real purchase. Coming from a poor, abusive family he would always think that he will end up being homeless, dying as a no one. When he got accepted into college everything changed. He was happy and for the first time he was thinking past tomorrow.

He finished college and ended up in a school teaching PE. The salary was not world wrecking but he was happy that he could get money legally, with his own two hands. He knew he didn’t live his life to the fullest. He could’ve fought harder, trying to find a better job but hell, he was very well pleased that he could keep it. Up until hell broke down. Now he was a dictator. He didn’t deny it; it was a well fucking known fact. But it was him, someone who loved power and influence.

He drove past the gates and pulled up next to his men. He saw that they already started to shit in their pants.

“Howdy, fellas?” He got out of the car and slammed the door. His voice was cheerful but his face remained stone cold. “I heard a few things. Dwighty boy keeps me updated on the tings, isn’t that right?”

Dwight just nodded. He would be dead if he didn’t do that and everyone knew this.

“Yes, boss, and I didn’t want you go be surprised at anything when you come back.”

“What a good boy!” Negan’s lips stretched in a foreshadowing smile. He was informed about some shady shit that was probably going on for a while now behind his back. Someone will be punished today. “I’d give you a fucking gold star if we had some. So tell me again, what did you discover?”

Dwight swallowed thickly and bit his lips as if telling the truth hurt him. This made Negan very pleased, this reaction justified that his people are loyal to him and not to each other.

“Mark... he um... didn’t show up to his shift and when we went looking for him we found him and...” Dwight got silent and took a deep breath just to get over with it quickly. “We found him with your wife.”

Even if Negan didn’t need his wive’s services anymore, not because he didn’t want to fuck them just because he couldn’t get off with them, didn’t mean that they were anyone’s to take. Rules still have to be kept.

“Well then let’s ask him about that. The man deserves to admit this to my face, doesn’t he?”

****

~~~•~~~

Being a leader is hard. Negan didn’t enjoy burning down Mark’s face but it had to be done. His wives now were even more terrified of him. Rick would understand. Of course, he would be mortified, but deep down he would understand.

Being with Rick was different. He has an aspect that none of his wives acquire. Rick was fighting with him. Not for his life or trying to kill him, he was just alive. Put Negan into his place, disobeyed him just how it was supposed to happen in a relationship. At least in Negan’s eyes. He hate it when someone just gave up and he hated Rick because until he approached him with his intentions he didn’t know.

Stating Rick was his and making him say that filled him with such pride that was indescribable. Finally something that he can be proud of. Rick was a piece of work. He resisted to him with every inch of his body but his mind was telling him to be with Negan. To watch that struggle was more enchanting than any girl that he ever was playing with.

However he missed Rick to death and he didn’t like this, not that he missed him just the fact that he can’t show it. This little power play has a big part in their relationship and he was not gonna give it up for a long ass time.

Negan walked across his room and took a good look. He loved this room but now that he knew Rick was waiting for him in Alexandria he hated it. He knew that Rick was almost in pain because he was away, he felt it. His chest tight, almost popping with anticipation. The feeling of his spouse’s mindset was a little bit of a turn on for him, especially if he includes that Rick was hiding it from him for his dear life.

Negan pulled out the drawers and started to pack his clothes to a backpack. Even though he was only thinking about Rick, he couldn’t get something out of his head. Rick was a leader, responsible for his people that Negan attached pretty viciously. The trust that he was hoping to gain suffered pretty big numbers from that and it will be hard to win back. So, he should do something that would make him trustable again. Maybe, this time, not for Rick but for someone who is important to him.

Negan sat down and started to scroll through the people who lived there in his mind. Not a lot of to get started. Most of them were hard to read; Negan had no idea what to do for them but someone popped into his mind. A girl with short hair, gripping her belly and crying her eyes out. Negan recalled that the guy who he killed, he couldn’t remember his name for his life, called out to her. Shit, that was probably the father. Negan rubbed his face and shooed away the guilt that was building up to him. None of this shit will help her now, what happened, happened. But he could do a favour for them or at least the little kiddo who will born into this madness.

This might not be the brightest idea but if it will make someone’s life easier, he’s down. Negan walked out of his room straight into the stockroom. Much to his surprise one of his wives was standing there reading the label on the scotch bottle.

“You know that that’s the only brand we have, right?”

Sherry turned around and looked at Negan with her huge, doe like eyes. Negan never imagined that these will be a turn off for him, especially if he out them in contrast with Rick’s gaze which was fierce and innocent at the same time. God, he misses him so much.

“I was just passing time.” Sherry put down the bottle and hugged herself as if she was trying to hide herself from Negan.

“You bored?” Negan walked towards her slowly cracking a smile that he knew made people shit themselves in fear. His eyes remained cold and dangerous. “Maybe you could use something to occupy your mind and hands.”

“If you want to take me then take me just not here.”

Negan threw his head back in laughter and it made Sherry jump. He will enjoy this.

“Come on, sweetheart. Don’t you think if I wanted a piece of that ass I would’ve already taken you?” Sherry looked at him with confusion. “That’s right, honey buns. I just lost my appetite for you. I mean, look at yourself. Your boobs are okay but that ass! Sweet Lord, they are so flat.”

Sherry tried to hide how much Negan offended him but she didn’t exactly succeed.

“Oh my God! Look at your pathetic self. A few months ago you almost cried when you had to give up yourself for me and now when I say that I don’t want you anymore you get offended? For fuck’s sake! You girls are madness!”

Negan sounded like his father when he spoke to his mother but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was just so angry at himself for hurting Rick that way. The way he looked at his when he told him about his wives. This made Rick feel like he wasn’t the most important thing in Negan’s life and Negan can’t allow that, especially because he was his motherfucking soul mate! No one will come before Rick and he has to know it.

“So what does that mean?” Sherry’s voice was quivering almost as much as her hands. “Now you are after someone else?”

Negan stepped so close that they were breathing the same air. “Yeah there is. And I’ll tell you a little secret. He is better than all of you, girls.”

Sherry took a step back and looked shocked. “He? A guy?”

Negan just put on his usual predator smile enjoyed the hurt undertone of Sherri’s voice.

“Who knew that a straight guy would enjoy fucking another man in the bet more than fucking you girls? Well, this should tell you a lot about your... abilities.”

Sherri turned around and ran away as Negan’s laughter echoed through the stockroom. They all can run away, Negan didn’t care. By tonight he’ll be back in Alexandria and he will be far away from this madness. Not a single soul realizes how hard it is to be the big bad wolf around here.

Negan shook his head and looked around their loot. His people hoarded up a lot of shit so it took him some time to find what he was looking for. He took a big ass empty box and started to pack into it a couple of baby stuff. Diapers, a pacifier, some stuffed animals and his favourite a little jumpsuit. His heart ached when he thought about how much he wanted a kid. He never told to Lucille because he knew being a douche bag runs in their genes. And after a while it didn’t matter what he wanted. Negan quickly packed away everything and walked back to his car. Even if this will not make things even, he hopes that the woman will appreciate this gesture. Not likely.

Negan walked up to Dwight and left him with commands. The fact that he relocated in Alexandria does not mean that the Saviours can get loose when he’s not around. From this shenanigan Negan was reassured about his trust in Dwight. However he didn’t trust him completely therefore Negan pulled Big Joe aside to give him the order to watch Dwight closely but not bluntly.

After everything was set he got back into his car and drove out of his fort. Negan thought back at Rick’s face when he confronted him about his wives. Unfortunately he recognized that expression from the first time he cheated. He didn’t know why he did it but he was sure it didn’t worth it. After hours and hours of fighting he promised he’d never do it again. Then it happened again and again. He never really understood why Lucille stayed with him but she did, bless her heart. Reliving just a fragment of this moment made Negan realize, maybe he fell harder for Rick than he’d ever thought.

He’ll never hurt anyone like that again, especially not Rick. He has to do something about this wife thing but it wasn’t as easy. He can’t leave them without a reason. If he does that, people will believe that he’s gone soft and it would lead to a rebellion. He has to find a reason where they can choose and if he’s ugly enough with them, his wives will leave him. The news that he was so unbearable that even the women who want to save their lives would not stay close to him will integrate more fear. This plan is perfect now he just has to make it happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and a kudo if you liked this chapter!
> 
> See y'all later!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back once again. Sorry for the delay I had a lot on my table, Easter, my birthday, mock exams and also I got sick but I'm doing better now.
> 
> This chapter was a hard one because I don't have a single clue how I'm supposed to write a sex scene in English! It came to my senses real quick that I have to widen my vocab in that area
> 
> Please tell me if you enjoyed this chapter also I still don't have a beta do any mistake that was made is mine and only mine.
> 
> If you wanna follow me and see when I'm gonna upload or how I'm doing with the chapters or maybe you'd like to contact me, then follow me on Instagram or Twitter:
> 
> https://twitter.com/Perselusfan  
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> 
> (shameless plug)
> 
> Love y'all!

Rick couldn’t sleep. Negan said they have to sleep together but he was gone for a long time now. The dark fell upon them but he still wasn’t back. Rick laid down to the bed but couldn’t sleep. Stupid connection, stupid soul males, stupid fucking orders. Negan ordered him to sleep together. Therefore he felt compulsory to wait up for his significant other. Wait, what? No, Negan wasn’t his husband or even his boyfriend. Negan was his... Rick couldn’t think of a title that would sound okay with him. Negan was Negan.

Rick sat down in top of their viewing post and gazed through the darkness. Still nothing. After he left, Rick felt awful. He souldn’t have gone up to him do strongly. It wasn’t his fault that he wanted to feel a little bit loved in this crazy world. His wives probably have more reason to be with him. He didn’t know much but Daryl told him that they were with Negan at their own free will. Rick wasn’t so sure about this. Even though Negan gave him a choice too, more or less, Rick would’ve been stupid to refuse it. Probably this is how it goes in his world. 

Rick grabbed an apple and bit into it. Their supplies ran low. Michonne and Rosita went out on a run. They probably will be back tomorrow afternoon. They collected what they had left and secretly gave most of it to Maggie. Poor girl is still shook. She is still grieving, unable to move out of her house most of the day. Carl and Enid take care of her for the best of their knowledge. Everyone hops in time to time trying to spark up a conversation but their efforts are too blunt for Maggie. Rick didn’t go to her. He couldn’t bring himself to look into her eyes. He let her and Glenn both down.

A white light shone bright in the darkness. Rick stood up and tried to see who drives the car. When he saw Negan his heart pounded in his throat. He ran down and opened the gate so he can drive in without any problem. A couple of growl came from the woods but the walkers were distant, there was no real danger. Negan parked down and Rick closed the gate. Rick hung his head, rested his hands on his hips and took a few deep breaths. He has to calm down or else he’ll come down as a puppy that was just waiting for his master.

Negan opened the door and hopped out of the driver seat as if he was still eighteen years old. He took a deep breath and smiled into the darkness. The white teeth he had almost glowed in the darkness.

“Home, sweet home, am I right?” Negan grinned and looked Rick up and down. Rick could only pray that he came off as cool. “Hey, babe, did you have a good day?”

Rick walked to the trunk and for whatever reason he put his hands onto the handles. He didn’t want to open the door he just needed something to occupy his hands. Why would he? There wasn’t even the slimmest chance that Negan brought something back to their base. Much to his surprise Negan stepped next to him and put his hands over Rick’s.

“How did you know?” His voice was serious and it didn’t have any edge to it. He was genuinely surprised.

“How did I know what?” Rick asked and glanced over to Negan. He just cocked his head to the side and looked puzzled as if he can’t figure out what got into Rick.

“That I brought y’all a surprise.”

Rick blinked.

“You did what?” Negan sighed.

“Just open the damn door and you’ll see, sunshine.”

Rick didn’t comment on the nickname. For some reason he didn’t mind it if they were alone. Rick opened the door and stared into the back of the car. It was full of boxes.

“Why?” he asked trying to put every doubt and frustration into this one word that was between them.

“You guys are pathetic. I can’t rely on you to keep the rations sufficient right away so for the start I thought I’d help in a little. Consider this an investment.”

This was so much more than an investment. Huge boxes were full of cans, dried meat and fruits, snacks and sweets. One of them was full of fresh fruits and vegetables. However, there was one which had neither of them. Rick squinted trying to figure out what could possibly that box hold.

“Help me take it to storage.” This was both a request and an order. Rick had no idea how did Negan do this, but he was a master at this.

The boxes were heavy but Rick didn’t flinch an eye. They carried it to storage one by one and finally there was that one box that was a complete mystery to Rick. He reached out, grabbed it and pulled it to the light to observe it. There was another box in it and on the box there was an overjoyed baby in a diaper. He froze in horror. Negan somehow knew about Judith? What will he do to her? Maybe he’ll take her away like he did with Daryl. To give her to one of his wives and raise her as his own. Rick’s hands curled into fists to the thought of that. He can’t let this happen.

He looked to the side and saw Negan standing next to him. He was carefully watching Rick’s every movement. But there was something on his face that blew Rick’s anger away. A huge dose of guilt was showing on his face. Rick shouldn’t jump into conclusions just yet. He has to be careful, though.

“What are these for?” he asked quietly. Negan rubbed his mouth and scratched his beard. He’s trying to phrase his words so they don’t anger him. “Negan. Who did you bring these to?”

“The brown haired, pregnant chick.” Negan dropped his head and put his hands to his hips. “I know I’m a dick and all. And I won’t give it to her in person. Hell, I’m the last person she wants to see, probably. But I just... Fuck, I won’t explain myself. I brought it to her to make peace.”

Rick relaxed a little. It wasn’t for Judith. But it would’ve been nice to have some backup diapers for her. It’s hard to take care of a baby in this world. Despite these facts, Rick wasn’t gonna mention Judith to Negan. She will never get involved with him.

Rick grabbed the box and carried it to the stock room. Negan followed him closely.

“Are you not even happy for me? I’m back, sweetheart. With stuff from my people. The least you could do is to thank me. I mean, if you want to give me a blowjob, i ain’t gonna refuse that.”

Rick huffed a laugh, he didn’t even know why. It was true, he brought them food and even diapers in order to make peace. Who does that? Mildly not crazy people. In Negan’s case. Rick turned around and almost bumped into Negan’s broad chest.

“I’m tired. You must be too. I’ll ask Morgan to keep a watch and let’s go to the house.”

“You mean our house?” Negan tried really hard to make Rick acknowledge that they share a life or at least some parts of their life. He was getting into his head and... Claiming him? Maybe yeah but Rick didn’t give in. He wasn’t gonna give in.

“Deanna’s house.” Rick looked up to Negan and guilt rushed through him. Because of Deanna’s family, that was dead. “We just intruded it.”

“Shit, sunshine, it is a little bit late to have dark thoughts like this.” He was obviously trying to easy Rick’s guilt trip. “How about this? We tell that Morgan together to get his ass out there and we” he grabbed a can of Spagetti-O’s and wrapped his hands around Rick “are gonna have a niceish dinner with this decentish food?”

Rick cocked his head and wasn’t even close to leaning against Negan. No, he didn’t imagine, how easy would it have been to just hug him, tuck his head into Negan’s neck and give the lead to him. Instead, Rick licked his lips and looked at the can.

“What’s wrong with this? I think, in the given situation, this is a real gourmet dish.” Rick grabbed the Spagetti-O’s out of Negan’s hand and started walking outside. “If you can’t appreciate it, you don’t deserve it.”

He heard Negan’s hard steps getting closer and felt a firm smack on his behind. He grunted, turned his head and his gaze met with Negan’s sparkling eyes. No, they are not dreamy, it’s just the lighting.

“Who said I don’t like ‘em? It’s my childhood.” The can was taken back from Rick.

“How surprising. It’s my college years.”

The soft toned laugh wrapped them around lightly and made their little exchange even friendlier.

“You went to college?”

“Heck yeah. How do you think I became a cop?”

The minute of silence was filled with shock.

“Shit, you were a cop? Damn, you would’ve hated me!”

“I don’t have to be a cop for that.” They both smiled softly. “Why?”

Negan sighed and looked around as if he was trying to win time. “I don’t think it is smart to talk about our past. It ain’t gonna come back, we should leave it in the past.”

“Well, if it’s in the past, we can talk about it, right? I don’t think you can surprise me with anything at this point.”

They walked into the house and Negan’s leather jacket landed on the sofa and he carefully set Lucille next to it. Rick didn’t even notice the baseball bat. Of course it would be with Negan but he was just so used to it, it didn’t even stand out to him. Is this right?

“I’ll tell you about my past, officer Grimes.” The grin on Negan’s face looked almost painful. “But not today. I’m hungry.”

The kitchen filled up with the smell of fake tomatoes as the can was heated up. Rick sat by the table and watched Negan as he plated the food.

“Do you wanna talk...about this afternoon?” He was scared, of course. But if they won’t talk about it, Negan has a bigger change to blow up about this topic. Rick knew he was irrational and was ready to apologize but first he wanted to hear Negan’s thought on the incident.

The silence was almost poisonous. Negan plated the food and put it in front of Rick then sat down next to him. The topic was unavoidable and it might set him off. He just had to be sure what page they are at.

“About you trying to humiliate me in the eyes of your... our people? Or the fact that you acted like a jealous girlfriend?” The grin that spread on his face wasn’t honest. After spending so much time together, Rick learned to read him better each and every hour. The glisten in his eyes were betraying him, waiting for his reaction. This wasn’t how he really felt, he was just playing games.

“I wasn’t humiliating you. And I had every reason to freak out on you.” He kept his cool even though he was furious. When Lori cheated on him, she apologized and cut everything off right away. But the sting would never go away. And everything that happened after burnt into his mind, he will never forget that.

“Hey, sunshine.” Negan’s soft voice was slowly crawling into his ears. When did he get so close? He looked up and saw Negan in front of him as he’s embracing him in his strong, safe arms. “Calm down. I didn’t mean it okay?” His eyes were hurt and afraid but why? Rick looked down and saw that his hands were shaking.

‘I... I’m good.” He tried to push Negan away gently but his hands were shaking so hard that he couldn’t even lift them properly.

“Rick.” A strong hand gently caressed his cheeks. “I should’ve told you, okay? I’m always as honest as I can be. It just slipped my mind. Hey, sunshine, you listenin’?”

Rick nodded. This feeling has to go, this inability to control himself, the invisible hands that are choking him, it felt like as if he was being pulled down into an abyss. He has to cling onto something to keep him up.

Rick grabbed Negan’s shirt, pulled him closer and pressed their lips roughly together. Negan hummed in surprise but accepted the invitation, wrapped his hands even tighter around Rick and started kissing him gently, almost too careful. Rick straddled into his lap started pulling down his shirt.

“Shit, Rick, do you really think it’s a good time to do this?”

Rough hands were pulling on Negan’s hair as Rick’s crotch was grinding against his hip.

“Do you really think it’s a good time to stop me?”

“Fucking shit, Grimes, you’ll drive me crazy.”

Rick felt a big, rough hand grab his bottom and squeezing it tightly as he was lifted to the table. The pants were ripped off of him and Negan climbed on top so he could hold onto him.

“You look so fucking good under me.”

“I think I would look better if you’d shut your mouth and do your thing.”

Negan laughed. “My thing? Waddaya mean sheriff?”

“I mean shut the fuck up and give it to me.”

“You don’t need to ask twice.”

Negan kissed him and undressed Rick as he started kissing his neck along his jaw line and his hands trailed down his sides with gentle care. It was as if this man was the most caring person ever invented, as if he couldn’t hurt anyone. Every touch of his, every kiss that was placed to Rick’s skin sang a melody that was all about praising Rick, every inch of him.

The strong hands cradled him to be turned around and lay on his stomach. Negan’s lips brushed his neck and danced along his back gently biting and sucking every inch of Rick’s skin. Negan grabbed Rick’s beautiful legs and spread them widely to be able to admire the masterpiece that was unfolding in front of him. Rick shivered under his stare, uncertain that crosses the man’s mind but he didn’t move. He asked for it, God knows, he wanted it so bad that if he will not get it, he’ll go crazy.

“Look at that” said Negan behind Rick and he sounded amused and pleased. Rick couldn’t help but buck his hips upwards to pop his butt even more.

“Look at what?” He tried to sound innocent but he failed miserably.

“Don’t play me, baby boy.” Rick felt a firm slap land on his back side. “I don’t call you bubble butt for nothin’.”

Rick laughed and pushed his butt even higher. He knew it was slutty, tacky or whatever anyone calls it but for him it was an offering that was for Negan and only Negan to take. He presented himself to he could be taken.

“Remember. You own me. But you are mine too.”

“I definitely own you, sweetheart.” Rick felt a slick finger press against his entrance. He stiffened for a moment but them he felt Negan’s calming leather scent and relaxed immediately. “But you’re a special piece.”

The think finger pressed through Rick’s tight muscles and entered him. It burnt a little but not even as much as it did before. He bit his lips and quivered.

“Shh, sweetheart. It’s okay. It’ll be better in a minute.”

The gentle words suited his soul and believed him, he’ll make it better and he’ll make Rick feel good. Rick reached back and grabbed onto Negan’s forearm. As the finger pressed inside him deeper it got thinker and thinker. Even a finger feels really big in him, how will he take Negan? A moment of panic washed through him and, of course, Negan felt it.

“Calm down, honey. It’s okay, it’ll be all right. We don’t have to do everything today. Just let yourself go.”

Rick waddled a bit.

“I want to.”

“I know.” Negan caressed his behind and placed a kiss on it. “But you don’t have to.”

Rick hated how he became so vulnerable under Negan’s hands but he didn’t disobey. It was not the time to do that.

A jolt of pleasure washed through him as Negan pressed against his prostate.

“Nhahh... Fuck” Rick’s hips bucked forward and grabbed the edge of the table.

“You like this, sunshine?” asked Negan as he curled his fingers again massaging Rick’s prostate.

“Mhahh.” Rick wasn’t able to speak just give out incoherent noises and move his hips right and left.

“Yeah, sunshine, you’re being so good for me.”

Praising never really did much to Rick, his ego didn’t need it but when Negan did that, it made him feel six inch taller and as if he could beat down thirty men at the same time. This wasn’t happening so he could achieve something, this was just pure kindness.

The second finger slid in him without resistance. Rick could hear himself whine but not from pain, it was from pleasure.

“You okay, sunshine?” Negan’s voice was filled with concern but Rick washed it away quickly.

“Don’t stop, keep going.”

Rick curled his toes to focus himself; he was so close to coming.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

Negan took it as a green light and started thrusting in and out faster each time ramming his fingers right to the magical spot.

“I... I can’t... Nhh Negan.”

Rick reached out, he didn’t even know what he was looking for, but he grabbed Negan’s thigh as he moaned, clenched down on Negan’s fingers and reached a body shaking orgasm. His mind completely muted everything out; he couldn’t sense anything but the leather scent that lingered all around him. He was longing this smell; it made him feel like home.

As he came down from the high caused by his orgasm, he heard Negan chuckle behind him.

“I didn’t know you enjoy bottoming so much, baby boy.”

Rick wanted to say shut up to him but all he could say was “Mrrgh.”

“Yeah, I thought so. You were just too excited about my dick and couldn’t hold off. Happens with the best of us.”

With all his strength, Rick swung at Negan and his hand bumped against his chest. Negan just laughed and took him in his arms. The warmness of his body, that he didn’t even know he needed, went through him and lightened his body in a way no fire was able to do so. The comfort given by a hug is irreplaceable. It didn’t matter how comfortable he was, Rick couldn’t get out of his head the fact that he wasn’t with Negan in the traditional way. For some reason, in his head, this meant that he wasn’t his completely. But why would it matter? He didn’t want to be his, did he?

Negan helped him down from the table and Rick was grateful for the helping arms because his legs didn’t work properly. It seemed like Negan expected this because he didn’t say a work, just took Rick in his arms and carried him upstairs to their bedroom. Their bedroom. Oh, god, he needs to stop. This bond was getting into his brain. He needs to stop this or else, before he could do anything, he’ll find himself on his knees by Negan being a little obedient puppy waiting for his master. No, it didn’t excite him. He wasn’t getting hard. He was just getting a semi because of the comfort. This kinky thought has nothing to do with it.

**~~~•~~~**

As Negan carried Rick into their bed he was fucking beautiful. Flushed cheeks, all naked not even caring about that he can see everything even the fact that Rick was getting another erection. Even on the kitchen table fully open for him, even offering himself. God, he was so fucking sexy with his ass up; he almost came in his pants. But he didn’t that fucking monstrosity was still hard and pulsing with every step he took. It was rather uncomfortable but he didn’t care, Rick was completely done and he needs to rest. It is a fucking work to get someone open enough to take his dick, at least for guys. Rick was so fucking tight he had to be worked thoroughly to take two fingers. In his mind Negan noted to get some lube from somewhere because if it goes on like this, he’ll fuck a motherfucking bush with a squirrel in it.

He put Rick down to their bed and ran his hands all along his body.

“There you go, beautiful. You good?”

Rick nodded and stretched out. Jesus Christ, that body was to die for. He could get lost in it for hours and still wouldn’t have enough of it.

“Thirsty?”

Rick nodded again as if he couldn’t speak. Negan understood. The kind of orgasms he gives takes some getting used to. He was generous with his lovers.

“Be right back.”

He grabbed a glass of water from the sink, sat down next to Rick and gently lifted his head so he could drink.

“Feelin’ better?”

“Mhm” Rick hummed and his hands started caressing Negan’s thigh.

“Hey, sweetheart, take it easy. I know I’m irresistible but you need to rest.”

However, Rick didn’t listen to him, instead he lean over Negan’s lap and pulled down the zipper.

“Hey, sunshine, you don’t have to.”

Rick didn’t even bother to give an answer or look up to him just pulled out Negan’s dick from its prison.

“Holy...” Rick seemingly was amused by it.

“You like it, babe?”

“You are a fucking monster.”

Negan chuckled.

“I prefer beast. Then you could be my beauty.”

“Bite me” huffed Rick.

“Looks like you gonna do that.”

Rick glared up to him with a twinkle in his eye that was indescribable. It was both naughty and daring. Whatever it was, it made Negan buck his hips forward.

“You like if I’m watching you while I’m sucking you off?”

“Shit, Grimes, why do you wanna speak so much all of a sudden? I thought it’s my duty.”

“Just trying to blow your mind before I blow you.”

“Fucking shit.” Negan had enough. He was so horny that he could even fuck a walker. His hands grabbed Rick’s damp curls and pushed his head down towards his leaking, throbbing cock.

The lips that touched the tip were incredibly soft. It was obvious that he didn’t suck a dick before but Negan hoped that he got a blowjob before. He was sure that he has but who knew what kind of girls was he with before. Rick seems like the guy who would lay with girls who would only be in missionary pose with the light down. However, the way he opened up tp him downstairs he had a lot of hope.

The lips opened and Rick’s warm tongue licks the head. Negan threw his head back and moaned deeply. His fingers rubbed Rick’s scalp encouraging him to continue like this and Rick wasn’t shy. After a couple catish licks his head moved down and Negan suck into the warmness of his mouth.

“Ahh, fuck, so good or me.”

Praising was never his favourite but he couldn’t help with Rick. He needed Rick to know how much he appreciates him.

Rick started bobbing his head and Negan couldn’t say another work just moaned loudly and tried to keep his hips from moving. He didn’t want Rick to choke on his dick. Maybe later.

The lips curled around his dick and when Rick started firmly sucking him, he couldn’t help himself, he busked his hips forward, held Rick in place and with a shout came in his mouth.

He let Rick go who immediately sprung up and coughed.

“Sorry.”

“M-m” Rick shook his head and wiped his mouth. Negan looked up and lifted his eyebrows.

“Did you shallow?”

“Umm... yeah?” Negan grinned widely. “What was I supposed to do?”

“You are full of surprises, officer.”

“You are full of yourself, darling.”

Negan threw his head back and laughed.

“Come here, sweetheart.” He pulled Rick in a tight hug and laid down with him to the bed.

“You’ll be uncomfortable in your clothes. Take them down.”

“Way to undress me, Grimes, but you should take them down. That’s sexier.”

“I’m not undressing you. Be uncomfortable, your problem not mine.”

“Fuck you.” Negan sat up and undressed. Rick was right, he hates sleeping in clothes. After he was done he laid back and Rick lifted the blanket over them. “You still awake?”

“Barely” grunted Rick.

“I just wanna talk.”

“Surprising” Rick sounded grumpy. There’s a first for everything.

“About your lash out. This afternoon.”

Rick shifted and scooted further away from Negan. Did he get scared?

“I’m not gonna be mad or anything.” Negan reached out and pulled Rick back to his chest. “I just wanna ask something about it.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

“Just one question. You felt like you were the side chick. Did you refer to yourself like this because you got cheated on?”

Rick’s stiff body was an answer by itself. Negan couldn’t anything just hold him closer.

“You said that we shouldn’t talk about our past.”

“About some things, we shouldn’t. But this is important business.”

Rick rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He looked as if he was reliving the past. Fuck, Negan hated himself for taking Rick back to the painful memory lane but it really was important. He should know about these things. This was they won’t end up in that shitty situation again.

“My wife. She cheated on me.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t, it... It’s complicated. She thought I was dead. She moved on, I would’ve wanted her to. Just I didn’t really die.”

“This is fucked up. I suppose it was a little but chaotic.”

Rick pathetically chuckled. “We could say that. What was even more fucked up that it was my best friend.”

Negan stared at the ceiling for a moment then turned and looked at Rick.

“Wait, hold on for a fucking minute. Your best friend? Isn’t that the one that...”

“Yeah.” Rick rubbed his eyes and brushed his hair back with his fingers. “The one who raped me.”

“Fucking...Holy fucking motherfucker.” How else can Rick’s life be fucked up even more? This was the shit that old women watched in soap operas. “I’m sorry it’s really fucking messed up. But why?”

“Apparently, he didn’t take too good the fact that I wanted my wife back even if he kn...” Rick bit the end of the sentence. Negan felt as if he was hiding something from him.

“Even if what?”

Rick stayed silent and bit his lip as if he screwed up big deal.

“Rick. Say it. Why would you keep something from me?”

Rick was still silent. Negan felt the rage bubbling inside him. He hated secrets, especially if they are big. And this seemed like a big deal.

“Rick, if you don’t speak I’ll start raging.”

“I just... I’m not ready.”

“I really don’t give a fuck and my temper doesn’t either. You either say it or I’m gonna get it out of you.”

Rick closed his eyes and swallowed thickly.

“She’s not ready. Please, don’t.

Negan frowned and looked at Rick puzzled. “She?”

“Yeah, she.”

“You either talk or I’m gonna smash something. I hate not knowing.”

“Okay, okay.” Rick held his hands out and sat up. His hands started fidgeting with the blanket and avoided Negan’s eyes. “I have a daughter.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than I'd like it to be but I feel like I should give something to you. Updates will be more regular now that the exams are coming and going. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter and I can't wait to unreveal a deeper line of the story.
> 
> Again, all mistakes are mine.

The silence was so thick it could have been cut with a butter knife. Rick was looking at the sheets and it seemed as if he was contemplating whether it was a good choice to tell Negan that he has a daughter or if it had been the biggest mistake of his hectic life. Negan tried to wrap his head around what Rick told him. A daughter. Rick has a daughter. As he repeated these words inside his mind and tried to make sense of them a small part inside him was getting frustrated. Why didn’t he tell him? He lied, kept information from him, he should be punished. Although, he just confessed something that mush have been super hard and that little precious thing must be really important to him. Negan’s head was drowsy of all the emotions that ran through him all at once.

Negan rubbed his hands over his scruffy beard and took a few deep breaths trying to calm his mind. It wasn’t easy because he felt like a fucking bomb exploded in his head. Even though it was hard for him right now his first priority was Rick. This must have been the hardest thing he had to do in his entire life. Negan didn’t want Rick to regret his decision and after his first works to run to the other side of the sucking planet.

“A daughter.”

“Yeah” croaked Rick in a voice that sounded as though he just ran ten miles.

Negan leaned back and out his hands behind his head. “I see.”

After he didn’t continue, Rick looked up at him with a thousand questions in his eyes. Not one was voiced but it wasn’t brain surgery to figure out what was going through his mind.

“Should I answer them or just leave you be?”

Rick tilted his head down and without any reassurance he nodded.

“All right, honey. Well, yeah, I’m a bit mad. I mean, you just told me you fathered two children and the first one is already a fucking pain in the ass. I really can’t imagine...”

“I didn’t” interrupted Rick. There words was enough to make Negan feel puzzled.

“You didn’t what?”

Rick swallowed thickly.

“I didn’t father her.”

Negan’s shoulders tensed up. He didn’t wanna think about that possibility. No, it was very very wrong not to speak of how messed up you it be from the good old life to fuck with someone at this level.

“’Scuse me? I mean, pardon my fuckint French for the next hour or two but... speak you fucking mind, Rick, I ain’t gonna ask you like I’m a fucking shrink. Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Rick turned towards the window. Negan was sure that he had never spoke about this, not even to his precious little hunter redneck friend. This was some deep shit but Negan won’t allow him to keep it inside him. It has to be told or they’ll never speak of this again.

“’Twas...” Rick’s shoulders shook as if he was on the verge of crying. Negan reached out, out his hand onto his shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. Not firm enough to be warning but hard enough to ensure him, Negan was right beside him. Rick cleared his throat. “It... was erhm...”

This was enough for Negan.

“Was it him?”

Rick just nodded.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay.”

Negan hugged Rick tightly. This was something that he never did. Lucille never had the need to be hold like this, which, if Negan thinks back at those moments when he wanted to, was pretty shitty. Right now he feels wanted, big and strong. This broken soul between his hands decided that he’ll share the darkest moment of his life with him, trusted him enough to tell him and after all this he let Negan to care for him, hold him before he falls apart. The amount of trust put into him was enough to give him a push to the right direction and make him feel ten times stronger than he already was.

 

Hours later when Rick was feeling okay, Negan was walking him in the streets of Alexandria. Neither of them slept soundly, their night was restless and full of caring whispers but they needed that a lot more than sleep.

“Michonne will be back soon” said Rick and gazed over the neighbourhood. “Hopefully she’ll bring some food. And guns. We really need those.”

“Guns for what? For us? How thoughtful of you, sweetheart.”

“First of all” snapped Rick and pushed Negan by his arm “it’s gonna be our guns. I’m gonna see if you can have any. Second of all, what’s with all of this baby names?”

“You don’t like ‘em?” asked Negan hands wrapped his hands around Rick’s waist pulling him close.

“Do you always answer a question with another question?” reprised Rick while trying to push Negan away but this proved to be harder than it seemed.

“Bad habits.”

“Then cut it out. I want an honest answer.”

Negan rubbed his head and thought about his answer. He was always like this, giving names based on looks and personalities, making fun of them in a non-hurtful way, for the ones he liked, at least.

“I honestly couldn’t tell ya if I wanted to. This is just something that came naturally.”

Rick nodded and leaned against Negan.

“Did your... you know... your partner before this all happened have a nickname?”

Negan huffed and looked down to the wedding ring that was on his finger. Rick knew, he didn’t have to be told about these kinds of things. Honestly, if someone gets married then he’ll always stay married, no matter if the wife is dead. It’s just a thing that only mourning husbands understand about each other.

“No, she hated nicknames. I only called her on those when she was sleeping.”

Rick stayed silent and when Negan looked at him his eyes were glistening with compassionate. At this moment Negan realised that no one else will come close to what he and Rick has. He only needs Rick, anyone else can suck it and go to hell.

“Still. Bubble butt as a nickname is rather bold.”

Negan laughed loudly.

“Calm down, baby boy, I’ll only call you bubble butt when we’re alone, how about that?”

Rick grinned and shook his head.

“I guess I have no choice, do I?”

“That’s right. Now, let’s go to the gates, I want to look how much stuff does the A team bring back.”

Negan wrapped his hands around Rick’s wait and let it rest there. He couldn’t imagine a better plate to leave his hands. As they walked he felt Rick’s hips waddle as he walked with his signature, southern cowboy style. Some might say it’s annoying or just an act but Negan quickly figured out that it comes naturally and he loved it.

When they got around Rick’s people he felt their daggering glares. They hated him, that’s true but it didn’t matter. It never mattered but for the first time he gave a damn about someone’s opinion and it was Rick.

The exact moment they arrived at the gates, they opened and a really beat up rolled in. They didn’t leave in this condition. Michonne almost fell out of the car and Rosita carefully got out, trying to go easy on her right foot. Rick instantly jolted away from Negan’s touch and ran to them to keep them upright.

Michonne’s eyes were puffed up and her mouth was split open. Rosita didn’t look better either. Someone clearly hurt them.

“What happened?” asked Rick softly but also with a little bit of a low growl. The sound made the hairs on Negan’s neck stand up. Rick was clearly annoyed, angry and ready to take on anyone who messed with his group.

“Someone...” huffed Michonne barely being able to talk. “He attacked us and...” she swallowed thickly.

“Easy, easy” said Rick and looked up to Negan. His eyes pleading, begging for him to do something.

“Who was it?” asked Negan with all seriousness. There was nothing that they brought back but in this situation he couldn’t get angry at them. It was lucky that they made it back alive. Somehow, along the lines, Negan also started to care about Rick’s people. He didn’t look at them as his owns but they did play a bigger part in his life than before.

“Dunno” said Rosita hissing from the pain in her leg. “But there was a guy who reffered to himself as some sort of king. And he also had a tiger a fucking tiger.”

Ezekiel. This was something to be expected. It was a long time coming; they have been unable to successfully complete the trades that they requested from him. Even though it was something that was constant Negan thinks that in the background they stash everything and they don’t give them the guns that they collected. Only food. This, right here, just made everything more clear about this theory. A war was coming and it pointed towards the Saviours.

**~~~•~~~**

Seeing their friends like this really got to Rick. Guilt was scratching away his heart; he should’ve gone with them. The fact that he has spent the night fooling around and even if he had a stressful night because his stupid confession, he was still safe within the walls and in a house. His friends have been through hell and came back barely alive. Scratches scattered all around their bodies, Rosita’s leg was bitten by that tiger. A fucking tiger. Michonne’s eyes were badly puffed up, her lips barely moving that’s how swollen it was and her arms were completely scratched up. He has to do something about this. But first, they need to see a doctor. From which they had one less than they needed.

Luckily for then Negan knew what they had walked into and was ready to take the matters onto his hands.

“Pack up Rick. We’re going over to my place I have a doctor to give you. Also I wanna talk to you about some stuff.”

Rick felt Michonne’s sharp look.

“You can’t go with him. We need you more than anything now. If you go with him you’ll leave us vulnerable.”

The amount of time this woman put into keeping Rick away from Negan is unbelievable. Rick knew that he should’ve kept his calm but in all honesty he was getting sick of everyone looking side-eyed at Negan when he didn’t even hurt a fly in here. The only person that was put in dangers that was Rick and he never hurt him. Spencer was a lunatic, he deserved what he got. But not Negan. He gave them diapers, food and a way to be able to live side by side.

“How about you shut up and let me make my own damn decisions?”

Her expression told Rick that he should’ve shut his mouth. He had never spoken to her like this but this was true. In the beginning he might’ve needed some help with the situation but at the end of the day he was the leader. He is the leader.

Rick straightened his back and turned towards the group.

“I’m gonna go with Negan. We’ll talk through this situation. He clearly knows who’s gotten onto our back and will give information about them. As of our agreement he will help us in this situation.”

He looked at Negan who was looking at him almost proud. No, this didn’t make his heart flutter. The fact that he might be proud of him means nothing to him.

“Yeah!” roared Negan. “I know those sons of bitches that did this to yall. And if you worry about him, remember that I’d kill even if someone looked at him the wrong way.”

They didn’t worry about it. Their glare told this. Rick shook his head and shook off all the disapproving looks that he got. He walked to Tara and ensured that she’ll watch Judith while he’s gone.

He and Negan packed up a truck with dome of Rick’s stuff and a few bottles of water. And of course Lucille. How could anyone ever forget about her?

They didn’t hold a long goodbye for Rick, quick nods and shaky looks. He sat beside Negan, rolled down the window and rested his elbow on the edge of the door as they rolled out of Alexandria.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... I wanted to finish up my story in one last chapter. But it just kept coming and coming so I kept writing. All in all, I didn't want to leave you hanging for such a long time. Here is the new chapter (with smut yaaaay) but the fic will come to an end in the foreseeable future.
> 
> Any (all) typos are mine, I ain't got no beta but I try to minimize them. Tell me if you like this fic, every comment lightens my day and keeps me going.
> 
> Oh yeah, and I'm gonna edit the tags so watch out for the warnings.

Cold breeze was running through their hair as they were driving on the road with rolled down windows. The quiet had no tenseness in it, it was just consent and comfortable. Negan lifted his hand and laid it across the top of the seat, placing his forearm behind Rick’s head. This was something only couples did, and in fact, both of them thought about themselves as a couple, just a really fucking odd one.

Rick tilted his back against Negan’s arm who lightly chuckled. This was the voice that had more meaning than anyone thought. Their touches light, lacking every boldness that two sexually attracted people would do and this wasn’t because they didn’t want each other. Hell knows, they were ready to abandon every responsibility they had and jump against each other. These touches proved that their connection was more on a spiritual level.

“Hey, are you with me, cowboy?”

Negan’s voice roughly shredded apart Rick’s train of thought.

“Yeah, of course, I’m here.”

“How about a nice little chat?”

Rick grumbled.

“I enjoyed the silence.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I know but there are some questions I have.”

Rick wiggled in his seat and looked at Negan.

“All right. Let’s talk.”

Negan rubbed his stubbly face and slowed down a little bit. They were not in a hurry.

“I was just wondering... What’s the little baby’s name?”

Rick smiled softly and leaned back. He waited something more serious; however, this is a serious topic. When he imagined that Negan finds out about Judith, he also imagined a bloody Lucille into his hands. No idea about why did he thinks that he’d hurt her. The more he gets to know Negan, the more he realizes that he’s the biggest teddy bear the earth has ever seen.

“Her name’s Judith.”

“That’s beautiful.”

“Yeah” said Rick and pulled up one of his legs. “Carl named her.”

“So Carl likes that little bundle?”

“Oh, yeah, very much. Even though...” Rick bit his tongue and cursed himself into oblivion. How many times will he play this foolish move? Just keep your mouth to yourself, is that really hard?

“Rick. You know I don’t like to be kept in the dark. Finish what you started.”

This wasn’t a threat, more like a pleading order.

“I will you just gotta understand. It’s a sensitive topic.”

“I understand. Very much. But you have to believe me when I say it’s better to share those moments than keeping them inside yourself. Don’t ya think?”

Rick thought back to the days that followed Lori’s death. How lost he felt although everyone was by his side to support him. He neglected his new born and Carl also. If there wasn’t a whole family behind him, he wouldn’t have known what to do. After that the hallucinations came. Most likely it was caused partly what Negan said; he kept it inside him and drove him into madness.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I’m listenin’” said Negan and he put his strong, firm hands onto Rick’s thigh. His palms felt really warm.

“We were attacked the day Lori went into labour.”

“Shit! That’s rough.”

“Yeah, there were walkers everywhere and I was nowhere near her. Two of my people were there. Carl and Maggie.”

“Maggie?”

“Yeah” Rick scrubbed his eyes which started to burn from the wind. Yeah, the wind for sure. “The brown haired chick whom husband you killed.”

“The pregnant one.” Negan might have ignored the other factors. Rick shouldn’t make him feel guilt but he couldn’t help.

“Correct. She is the daughter of a veterinarian. Despite of her knowledge, Lori couldn’t be saved. She had to have a C-section. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck.”

As Rick talked his throat became tighter. He hasn’t spoken about this ever. Maggie told him and he crashed down, drowning in sorrow.

Before he could feel the grief grabbing his heart with its cold claws, Negan reached around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. The warmth coming from his body transferred through the mist and his mind cleared so when he looked up, he only saw Negan’s soft smile on his face.

Rick just realised what this connection has in for both of them. It’s not only about dominance and knowing things about each other that makes them vulnerable but also about finding comfort. No one or anything has ever calmed Rick as much as Negan right now.

“Thank you” said Rick quietly and wiped his mouth. “It’s hard, you know.”

“I know baby, don’t worry about it. I’ll listen.”

Rick nodded and rested his head on Negan’s shoulder.

“How’s it at your place?”

Negan chuckled.

“We’re not even at the Sanctuary but you wanna go up to my place?”

Rick smiled lightly.

“Shut up, you moron. You know what I mean.”

Negan smiled and turned right.

“It’s interesting. Our community is tight and homely at the same time.”

“What do you mean?”

Negan leaned back and looked far to the distance.

“I connect them. And I can trust them that anything goes wrong or happens, I’ll know about it. This is how it works. They don’t owe me their lives or anything. Of course, you, Hilltop or other communities are different. But my people are for me and me only. For return they just have to be honest with me.”

Rick thought about what he heard. Truly this system was unique and despite the simplicity, it worked.

“So how does this really work? People are snitches?”

“No, god no” laughed Negan and lightly tapped Rick’s head. “You can lie. You can keep something from me. It I don’t find out, you’re good. But if I do find out then... that’s ugly. Let’s not talk about that. The point is the people there can decide that they turn against me and take over. They have that power, however, they decided to give me the power and be honest with me. What is this if not respect?”

That’s totally true. No one gives that kind of greatness to someone without reasons.

“Can I ask one more thing?”

Negan showed him a thousand watt smile.

“Sure, honey bun.”

These nicknames are getting cheesier each time.

“What about the wives? Why plural? And... Just why?”

“Well,” Negan shifted in his seat and a huge building showed up in front of them as they turned right at a cross section. It must have been the Sanctuary. “This is a difficult one. You see, they didn’t want to be my wife.”

Rick was baffled. Who wouldn’t want Negan as a husband?

Rick shook his head and emptied these thoughts. This was an impulse that took over his thought so hard that it was almost impossible to get out of the whirl of them.

“They why did they agree to marry you?”

“Whaddaya think? Advantages. What else could be impressive about me?”

The way he said that ensured Rick that Negan wants him to speak about what’s going in his mind. To say that he’d be happy to have him as a husband. So Negan must know the thoughts that don’t stop bothering him.

“Do you really have such low self-esteem that I have to say nice things about ya?”

Negan laughed.

“Come on, sweetheart, don’t think that. It just would be nice to know that you are as attracted to me as I am to you.”

Rick felt his cheeks flush with heat and bowed his head. This must not be seen.

“But I’ll meet with them.”

“My wives? Yes. You gotta know that I’m done with them.”

Rick ignored the warmth in his chest.

“Do they know that?”

“They must. I ain’t gonna play any games. I mean, I’m Negan, of course I will just... it will not be with you. If I need help or I’m planning anything with you, I’ll tell that. I wanna be honest with you. What are you doing with me? Shit, I’m soppy and... I’m like a fucking romcom!”

Rick’s laughter filled the car as they rolled up to the gates of the Sanctuary. He saw some of Negan’s men come up to them and they looked at him as he was a fucking white elephant. Laughing next to this man must have been as rare as diamonds.

Looking around the first think Rick’s eye caught was the obnoxious amounts of weapons hanging from everyone. Rifles, at least three knives and a baton like weapon. It made sense since the people that welcomed them was most probably the guards.

Negan jumped out of the vehicle and Rick followed.

“How ya doin’ Simon?”

The man walked up to Negan rocked a pretty serious moustache.

“Nothin’ much, boss, was your trip safe?”

“Who are ya, my fucking mother? Of course it was! Well, everyone, I’m sure you haven’t met my dearest new edition, Rick motherfucking Grimes.”

Every eye darted towards Rick and their glare felt hot as fuck. There was only one thing Rick could do, showing confidence.

“That’s not my actual middle name.”

At least Negan found it funny. Not a single muscle was moved by the guards, they just stared at him in disbelief. This clown twisted their leader around his fingers. Rick was eager to keep his gun in his hands at all times, he could never know who might try to hurt him. This place is huge and accidents happen. There are a lot of people but if not a single one likes him, Negan might not ever know the truth. He has to be careful, he’s not Negan’s significant other yet.

“He’s a charm, isn’t he? Let’s roll, guys, I haven’t been here in a hot minute, tell me everything that’s happened around here.”

**~~~•~~~**

No matter how much Negan wanted to focus on the place’s management, he couldn’t get his eyes off of Rick. Curiosity burned in his eyes even though he tried to hide it and it was fucking adorable. Like a squirrel that got released into another park. He was looking around as they walked and Simon was painting the incidents occurred in the last few days.

“What about the Kingdom?” he interrupted Simon.

“Umm... What about it? They deliver on time and the right amount.”

Well, this was strangely annoying.

“I think they are not up to date with the situations. I should pay a visit to them.”

Both Simon and Rick looked up at him.

“But, boss, this is not your job. We have plenty capable men that could...”

“Simon! Simon, Simon....my old friend” Negan used his sweet voice that made everyone shit themselves. “May I have a little, itty bitty question?” His smile was maddening.

Simon gulped thickly.

“O... Of course, boss.”

“Did I fucking stutter?!”

Everyone around them jumped up a few feet in the air. His powers were endless.

“No, boss! You didn’t, I’m deeply sorry that I assumed I know better.”

“Yeah, Simon, do not make this mistake ever again.”

They ran away like rats whom are chased by a damn alligator. Rick inched closer until Negan could feel the heat radiating from him but they didn’t actually touch.

“You know, I can feel it.”

“Feel what, sugarbun?”

“Could you just...?” Rick sighed. “I can feel why do you like power so much. It gives you an adrenaline rush.”

This was a hundred percent true. It gave him such an adrenaline high, it was almost addicting.

“So what?”

“I didn’t mean to come at ya, chill a little bit. I’m just saying this, because I understand. You like power and this is completely okay. I like it too.”

Negan grinned.

“You little, perverted cowboy, you get a little hard too when you’re bossy, aren’t ya?”

Rick punched him hard in the arm.

“Shut up. I don’t. I’m just trying to say something important, if you don’t mind. You have to keep in mind that great power comes with great...”

“Fucking Christ! Grimes, stop being boring!”

“You know well that I’m the least boring person on this earth.”

“No, that’s not true, I am. Now, how about I show you your room? I mean my room.”

Rick’s smile was soft but it was there.

“I’m gonna sleep with you?”

“Hell yeah. Did you forget about our little deal.”

“No, I didn’t. I just thought you’re gonna want to sleep with one of your wives.”

This statement almost made Negan’s blood boil.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’d rather die than choose one of my wives over you.”

And this was true. Leaving no time for Rick to deeply think about this statement, Negan grabbed him by the waist and pulled him towards his room. He couldn’t lie, he missed his room but it wasn’t complete without Rick anymore.

He opened the door and let Rick walk in first. He expected him gasping in awe, admiring how normal his living situation was in this madness they now call life but instead he heard a puzzled voice.

“Who are you?” asked Rick.

“The question is, who are you?” heard Negan the answer which was definitely coming from Sherry.

Negan stepped in and saw her sitting on the edge of his bed holding a whisky glass in her hands and looking at Rick with hostility.

“Sherry. I don’t recall asking for you. What the living hell are you doing here?”

Sherry stood up and stared at Rick while answering.

“I heard you came back. Thought you might wanna have some fun as well.”

Negan felt rage bubbling up inside him. If this bitch is not removed from here immediately, he’ll go on a rampage.

“I do, believe me, and I will have some fun.” He used his sweetest voice possible and saw the hairs stand up on Sherry’s arm. Perfect, she’s afraid. “But who the fuck thought that I’ll have it with you? Besides, you only come here if I allow you to do so. Did I let you in?”

Sherry was fidgeting with the glass in her hands and avoided at all cost having to look Negan in the eyes.

“Um... no, but...”

“No but! You fucking moron, you’ve been her for how long? A long ass time! And you still don’t know how things work here....”

“I just...”

“Did or I did not tell you to come here?!”This was getting out of hand. She was obviously jealous but why? She didn’t love him, she should be relieved. However, this was a great opportunity for him to dismiss her.

“No, sir.” Her voice was just a soft squeal.

“Therefore?”

She gulped. Poor Rick was just standing aside, puzzled as always when it came to the Sanctuary business.

“I... I broke a rule.”

“That’s right! Finally, something that is right and it’s coming from your mouth! ‘Scuse me, I think I’m gonna have to pop a champagne. It’s rather a rare occasion.”

Her face lit up as a campfire as shame washed through her.

“Get out of here. I don’t wanna see you near my room ever again.”

As she was leaving, Negan grabbed her arm and whispered in her ears.

“I’m gonna come back to you later. As soon as I figured out what to do with you.”

She ripped her arm out of his grasp and ran off.

“So she was one of your wives- I assume” said Rick to break the silence.

Negan rubbed his palm on his head.

“Yeah, Sherry. When I married her she was such a hot piece of cake but... now I can’t bring myself to even look at her.”

Rick smiled softly and stood next to Negan.

“That means I stole your heart?”

Negan grinned sheepishly.

“You stole something.”

As he was about to kiss him, Dwight entered the room, without a single knock, sweating from running.

“Boss, it’s so good that you’re back. We have a little problem.”

Negan let out a sigh of frustration but he was in charge, it was his responsibility to take care of things.

“It better be important.”

Dwight nodded.

“It’s Ezekiel.”

Negan’s jaw tightened as he heard the name.

“I’m comin’. Rick, you stay here. Simon will bring you some food. I’ll be back.”

Knowing that Rick would be embarrassed, he went out of the room without kissing goodbye, however he gave Rick’s hand a firm squeeze, ensuring that he can’t wait to be back.

**~~~•~~~**

Negan’s room was huge. However much Rick wanted to hate the place, he loved the simplicity and cosiness of the room. There were two nightstands next to a king sized bed and a wardrobe of some sort, storing all Negan’s clothes. But the best part was, the whole room smelled of Negan.

Looking around he found a small TV, a bathroom and the comfiest armchairs he sat on since the apocalypse. Even though it was a nice place, all alone in here can be pretty boring after a short while. Rick waited for Simon to bring his dinner and he didn’t disappoint. Fucking waffles! Even if they were the frozen, shitty waffles from Wallmart, he loves every bit of it. He hadn’t had those ever since Lori forbade them from the house, with the excuse ‘it is not healthy and definitely not brain food’!

Finishing up he put the plate aside and started pacing along the room. Negan must be back shortly. He wouldn’t leave Rick alone for all night long. Rick looked at the watch on the wall and noted that Negan was away for one and a half hours now. Maybe he could surprise him.

Before he could change his mind, he started to undress, folding his clothes and putting them aside until only his boxer briefs stayed on which hugged tightly around his butt just like Negan loved it. Now the only problem was how he should welcome him. Maybe he could lay on the bed in a welcoming, sexy position. He might like it. The problem was that the bed was in front of the door and if any of Negan’s men would see him like that, he’d be way more ashamed than ever.

Luckily the armchairs were pushed to the side, so he’d be a little more hidden. Rick sat over there, crossing his legs and staring at the watch ticking away the minutes.

After about fifteen minutes, Rick heard voices.

“...their fucking problem! I don’t give a rat’s ass about their new mumble jumble! If I want that much, I’ll get it. Make sure they understand this!”

The answer was quieter. Rick just realised how much Negan’s tone affected his mood. Hearing him being so bossy and confident, giving orders to others (not to him or his people) sent down shivers on his spine and it went up until the tip of his already hard dick.

The door opened and Negan stepped in but he didn’t see Rick straight away because he closed the door and rubbed his eyes.

“These idiots will be the death of me.”

He sighed and briefly looked up.

“Rick?”

Rick straightened his posture.

“Here.”

Negan’s eyes darted towards him and his mouth fell open. He looked Rick up and down with such hunger that was almost inhuman. Rick wiggled a bit, trying not to look nervous and opened his legs.

“Your room is quite hot.” He intended to sound natural but instead his voice was heavy with arousal and impatience.

“Mostly because of you, ranger.”

Rick smirked and stood up. Negan reached out towards him and he took his hand.

“You really are full of surprises.” said Negan. “What did I do to deserve this?”

Rick wrapped his arms around Negan’s neck.

“I don’t know. This just... something I wanted to do for you.”

Negan hugged Rick tightly and much to Rick’s surprise he lifted him up and carried him over to the bed.

“What else do you want to do for me?”

Negan gently laid Rick on the bed and rested him arms next to him head. Every thought flew out of Rick’s head and he was left to incoherently babble with a beet red face. He wasn’t good at seducing men at all.

“Well... Erm...”

Negan chuckled lightly.

“How about I do whatever I want with you?”

Rick bit his bottom lip and nodded. Negan hummed in excitement as if this was all he wanted to hear.

“Come on, honey bun, we’ll get rid of this.”

Negan reached down and gently pulled down Rick’s underwear. His manliness popped up, it was rock hard and leaking with pre-come.

“Just what I wanted to see.”

Before Rick could say anything Negan pressed his lips against his and pulled him into a deep kiss that left him wanting even more. His hands explored Rick’s body, eager and patient at the same time. However he didn’t have the mindset to play with him for hours, Negan’s hands were over Rick’s butt, squeezing them roughly. Rick pulled away from Negan’s lips to catch his breath and let out a deep moan.

“That’s it. Let me hear your beautiful voice.” said Negan and started to pepper kisses all along Rick1s throat meanwhile his fingers were playing with his hole.

“You’re still sooo tight for me, baby.”

“Mnhh” Rick couldn’t say anything more sensible than this. The need was eating him alive. Need to be touched. Need for something to fill him up.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” asked Negan and he pushed one of his fingers into Rick. “What do you want me to do with you?”

Rick tried to moan quietly but it was impossible. He lifted his hands and grabbed Negan’s hair.

“Please...” he begged as his hips bucked up trying to take in more of Negan’s finger.

“You are really polite, honey, but what do you want? Tell me. Tell daddy.” A second finger has joined the game and they suck deeply into Rick.

Pleasure was far superior to the burning sensation. He can take more. More. He wants more.

Rick struggled but managed to lift his head up and look into Negan’s eyes.

“More. Please.”

His eyes darkened, pupils widened.

“Well, I’m not gonna ignore such a beautiful request, won’t I?”

Negan gently removed his fingers from Rick who groaned annoyed but yelped as he was lifted not so gently and thrown onto the bed. He literally ripped off his boxer brienf, opening his legs so Negan could see everything he was missing out.

“Don’t tease me, honey, I can be rough if I’m carried away.”

Rick grinned.

“Maybe I want you to be rough.”

Negan almost roared while he stripped his own clothes and climbed on top of Rick.

“You wanna be a good boy for me?”

“You know, it’s a little disturbing how you keep calling me boy when I’m not that younger than you.”

“Quiet, boy” snapped Negan and yanked Rick’s legs up so he would lay on his back.

“Damn” said Rick and he embraced himself on the bed. “But yeah, I wanna be good for you.”

“Well then” said Negan with hungry eyes. “Be good for me and open yourself up for my cock.”

Rick blushed deeply.

“Wh- What?”

No matter how much porn did he watch before the apocalypse this man will outrun anything he have ever heard or seen.

“I’ll get you started” said Negan and took Rick’s fingers into his mouth.

His tongue played with the tips and the sides, sucking them deep down his throat then releasing them. Rick felt his arousal grow with every second. He gave out a surprised yelp when a finger slid inside him.

“You gotta join” smiled Negan and released Rick’s fingers from his mouth.

The wet fingers felt awkward pressing against his rim. He never fingered himself, but it turns Negan on so he’s willing to give it a try.

He pushed a finger in slowly. The burn was not even close to the burning he felt the first time. He’s getting used to it. Even if his fingers were not as long as Negan’s and couldn’t reach deep enough to press that magical spot, the way his lover were looking at him, that deep, dark, amazed look turned him on more than a fucking gang bang. He continued to finger himself and let out a soft moan while he was watching Negan, and yeah, he got the sweetest reaction from him.

“That’s enough, cowboy. I can’t hold myself back no more. I gotta be inside your juicy bubble butt.”

Rick chuckled and removed his finger slowly.

“You laughing at me?” the darkness in his voice was not different, not alarming, just playful.

“Erm... no, I’m not.”

“It very much sounded like so.”

Rick gulped and tried to open his legs wider trying to distract the man. He was sure that the ‘punishment’ will be enjoyable but he really wanted to feel filled up.

“Oh, no, not yet, baby boy. On your belly, sweetheart.”

“If you spank me, I’m gonna be mad.”

Negan laughed loudly breaking down every bit of nervousness that might have lingered in the air.

“You afraid of me?” Negan asked after gently flipping Rick onto his stomach.

“Of course, not, I’m just informing you.”

“Do I look like the type that enjoys spanking my lover?”

Rick almost laughed at the innocent tone Negan’s voice took up.

“Honestly? Hell yeah!”

“Well...” said Negan in a much, much deeper, darker tone. “You are right. But not today.”

Before Rick could answer, he felt his cheeks being pulled apart and a wet tongue slip between his cheeks. He bucked his hips upward and grinded Negan’s stubbly face. He hummed in agreement and started to mercilessly rim Rick’s hole. Rick fisted the sheets below him and ad the tongue worked itself deeper and deeper into his hole his hips started to thrust down to the mattress. Almost there, just a little bit faster, more friction and he’s almost there...

But before he could come Negan lifted up his head and flipped him onto his back, leaving Rick to thrust into the air. He groaned in annoyance.

“Did I say that you can come just from my tongue?”

Rick was trying to catch his breath.

“You asshole” he said but a moment later he smiled. “I’m not your little toy boy, don’t be shocked that I have a mind of my own.”

Negan laughed again. How come he does it so much around Rick?

“That’s more like it. This person right here... You are my little cowboy.”

Rick grabbed a pillow and threw it into Negan’s face.

“Say cowboy one more time...”

Negan laughed again, even louder than last time and laid on top of Rick, pulling him into a tight hug and thus pressing their bodies together.

“You good? Feelin’ better?”

Rick was looking in his eyes and combed his hair with his fingers.

“I was feeling good already but then you didn’t let me finish.”

Negan hummed.

“How do you feel now?”

“Now?” Rick was thinking. “Like I wanna come all over this bed right now.”

“See? Better to keep the finale to the veeery end.”

“Is this one of your kinks?” asked Rick nibbling Negan’s neck, purposefully concentrating for the most sensitive areas.

“I have a whole lot of those.”

“Obviously. We should talk about those. You can’t just surprise me with them in bed.” Rick stopped the biting. “Wait. That is a kink too?”

Negan chuckled.

“Might be. Now, don’t be offended but shut up and hold onto me.”

Rick tightly hugged Negan with both his arms and legs. Negan lined up to Rick’s entrance and slowly slid in as both of them moaned loudly into the air.

It burned but it felt good. However much he wanted to take in all of Negan and be fucked out of the world, they took it slow. First small, shallow thrusts then after Rick got used to it they gathered speed and Negan rammed into Rick magical spot.

“Ahh! Fuck! More!”

“Just what I want to hear!”

Negan embraced himself on the bed and started ruthlessly pounding Rick into the bed, showing no mercy but making sure that he hits the same spot each and every time.

“Fuck, fuck, ahh! I’m gonna... gonna come.”

“Don’t hold back, baby boy, come on” Negan said hitting Rick’s prostate even harder and quicker until his lover froze under him, dug his nails into his shoulder and came with a loud groan.

He let him ride out his orgasm and only after the started moving again until he felt his balls tighten and with a deep thrust he came inside Rick.

Being filled up like this was something that cannot be described. It felt erotic, personal, and important. Rick felt his body warm up, wanting more, he just wanted Negan up hold him, and fill him up as many times as possible, never leave him empty. Rick knew that this was the connection, soul mates, but he didn’t care. This is love. He had never been more sure in it. Burning, intense, merciless, agonizing. Just like Negan.

After then both came down from the high, Negan turned down from Rick, pulling out and laid next to him. Ricked looked up to him and wondered if he feels the same.

“Fuck” said Negan. “This was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Rick smiled.

“Likewise.”

Negan reached out, grabbing a wet towel that he prepared without Rick noticing and cleaned both of them up surprisingly gently.

“You wanna talk about my kinks now?” asked Negan but his voice was slow, indicating that he’s tired.

Rick felt knocked out also but who could be mad at him? Sex was exhausting.

“Tomorrow” he stated then put the blanket on top of them.

“What about the...”

Rick put his hands on Negan’s mouth.

“Tomorrow. Everything tomorrow.”

Negan chuckled, placed a gentle kiss on Rick’s palm and hugged him close.

“Yes, boss.”

Rick smiled.

“See? I like this name.”

Negan just held him tighter.

“Dream about it, sweetheart. I ain’t gonna call ya that.”

Rick just smiled and let his mind drift into the dark nothingness. The last think that crossed his mind was ‘I love you’.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudo or tell me in the comment section if you liked this fic. :) I'll see you guys around.


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